Rex Grossman sucks? Completely original, dude.
Hey kids, I’m Bandwagon, the Chicago Bears monkey. I was given life by fastidious Bears fans on a warm October night in Arizona two years ago. Since then, I’ve dwelled, with much of the Bears fan base, on the back of a nonchalant bloke named Rex Grossman.
I’m not your usual f–king monkey, either. I don’t eat insects, bananas, nuts or any of that sh-t. I feed off bad play calling, poorly timed throws, fumbled snaps from center and generally, any signs of futility demonstrated by the Bears offense.
In 2006, I was a small little f–ker. But after Indianapolis quarterback Peyton Manning finally escaped my brother’s clutches on February 4, 2007, I got motherf–king huge. In fact, I seemed to grow bigger after every game in 2007. Put simply, I was eating like Rosie O’Donnell high.
At last, I’m back for one more year. And I have the fans to thank. If it weren’t for horrendous ghosts of quarterback past like: Rick Mirer, Steve Stenstrom, Mose Moreno, Cade McNown, Kordell Stewart, Craig Krenzel and so forth, I would undoubtedly be lifeless, or at least, substantially smaller.
Good God, monkey. Show some self-dignity. In truth, Rex Grossman is harped on way too much. I’m sick of the “Rex Grossman sucks” rhetoric that idiot fans spew. Essentially, he’s entering his third season having played 32 games. I know the wet blankets don’t want to hear that, but it’s fact, bitches.
Besides, Grossman is better than any quarterback the Bears have had in a long time. Remember how disgruntled fans were over the team’s ultra-conservative offense of the late 90′s-early 2000′s? Does John Shoop ring a bell? The Bears finally get that quarterback who plays a little recklessly; isn’t afraid to go deep, takes some chances, and tries to make a play and they deride him for it! You hypocritical morons.
Let’s give him another year, his theoretical third year, the year NFL quarterbacks are supposed to come into their own, and then, and only then, will any denigration be of merit.
The year Rex Grossman “happened to be the Bears quarterback” when the Bears reached the Super Bowl, he threw for 3,193 yards, 23 touchdowns, 20 interceptions and had a 73.9 rating. Last season, fourth-year quarterback Eli Manning took the New York football Giants to the Super Bowl where they upset the Patriots. Manning had thrown for 3,336 yards, 23 touchdowns, 20 interceptions and had a 73.9 rating. The comparison is remarkably similar…well, except for…you know, the whole…extraneous…Super Bowl MVP thing. Ahem.
The “Man Show” had girls on trampolines. We have douche bags on Grossman. It’s not as dirty as it sounds:
[youtube=http://youtube.com/watch?v=t6vVUCEMPl0]
For all you Rex haters out there (most of which are packer fans(otherwise known as morons), or just have a team who is been lucky enough to suck the year before and get the #1 pick the next year (colts fans), or have just been plain lucky (Tom Brady 6th round pick, don’t act like you knew he was going to be good, I mean I am a Michigan Wolverine fan and I didn’t think he was going to be good),Rex is better than most give him credit for. I didn’t hear anyone talking bad when he helped take them to the superbowl. Not to mention he was 3rd in the league that year in touchdown passes (Yes, more than Brett Favre packer fans). He has proven, when given time to throw the ball, he can be one of the best in the league. Like one other person said, when he is on he is on. Yes he does make mistakes, but who doesn’t. I just have one question for Bear fans, Who are the only two quarterbacks to represent the Bears in a Superbowl? Answer: Jim McMahon, oh yeah and the only other REX GROSSMAN! SUPPORT THE MAN THAT TAKES YOU TO THE SUPERBOWL FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 22 YEARS!!!!
rex is the best qb the bears have had in a loooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnggggg time, but as most bear fans are impatient, we want to throw him to the wolves too quick…………stick with the kid good or bad……cause when he,s on, he,s really on……or pick up farve for a season or two….and let rex “learn” from the master….what the f— are you doing jerry d???
For all of your “poetic” apologetics, you still cannot convince me that Wrecks Grossman is a better quarterback than my 13-year old niece who plays Powder Puff Football.
Why? Because results don’t lie.
Not only is he bad, he’s an abonination to professional football.
And, he proves that my beloved Bears have, and will continue to have, some of the worst quarterbacks ever to play pro football.
With the ball control of an elephant, and the instincts of a gnat, it’s horrifying that this TOOL got a one-year extension.
I stick up for Rex because I believe, dammit! (Albeit, maybe blindly). Plus, if I have to watch K.O. throw 7-yard outs and screen passes all year, I’ll kill myself.
Rex Grossman is terrible, face it. Eli Manning had the same stats but when it counted most he came through and that’s what matters. What does Grossman do? He chokes on the big stage is what he does and then morons for some reason keep sticking up for his sorry ass for some innapparent reason. If I were Lovie I would let Kyle Orton call the plays and let him develop because Grossman is nothing but a waste of time.
The Bears don’t have a consistently proven
quarterback or running back, you’re right. But old D-line? C’mon.
Even if you count veteran ends Adewale Ogunleye(30) and Alex Brown(29) as old, their level of play surely hasn’t dropped off because of it.
The rest of the line is made up of Tommie Harris and promising youngsters like Mark Anderson, Matt Toeaina, Dusty Dvoracek, Marcus Harrison, Dan Bazuin, Anthony Adams, Ervin Baldwin etc. None of which, are over 28.
Old D line – No QB – No running game. This is a team that is going to be the door mat of the NFC for years to come. Any team that drafts 5’7 pop warner player G. Wolfe and keeps Grossman. The issues is Jerry A. is no judge of talent.
I swear to God this post wasn’t written out of fear that my fairly new Rex Grossman jersey would soon be obsolete. :]