What more could an 0-4 team want to jumpstart their season than an underachieving recluse with a penchant for alcohol and Sun Chips?

Today, the Cincinnati Bengals furthered the already laughable image of their organization by adding Cedric Benson to their payroll.

Benson was ostensibly cut by the Bears in June after his second alcohol-related arrest, but we all know the real reason was because he sucked. Hard. (more…)

If you’re anything like me, you want to stay connected to Chicago Bears info from anywhere, and as much as possible. Apparently, some company called netomat, Inc. has teamed with Motorola to make it more likely you’ll never miss a thing.

With the launch of Bears mobile, “fans can stay in the game with access to a streamlined version of the team’s official web site on their mobile phone.”

Basically, in between texts to your baby’s mama, you can view up-to-date news feeds, photos, roster, player bios, fan polling, and more. (more…)

Finally, a game in which the Bears did something my sixteen-year old self never could — finish. Alas fellas, how does it feel to move past third base, and into the warm, juicy orephous known as victory?

On fourth-and-goal from the one with just under four minutes left in the game, the Bears defense took a stand and then made one. A handoff to Eagles running back Correll Buckhalter yielded no gain on the pivotal play as defensive end Alex Brown burst in from the side, reached his arm around Buckhalter and provided that extra resistance needed to keep the Eagles short. (more…)

If the Bears continue the trend of the last two weeks, they’ll absolutely stomp Donovan McNabb and his Eagles counterparts into submission and the score will show it. That is until the fourth quarter when the Bears defense implodes and the Eagles sneak away with a late-minute win.

In order for that not to happen, the Bears offense must convert on third down opportunities — something they have not done recently. Controlling the clock is always important for an offense that lacks big play ability, but it will be more important for the Bears in order to keep their defense fresh.

The Eagles will come out throwing, hoping to recreate the success Brian Griese had against the team last week. While I don’t see McNabb throwing 67 times, he will throw often and how well the defense contains him will be the biggest indicator of the team’s success. (more…)

Watch Kyle Orton take to the ground, conjuring up memories of John Elway circa Super Bowl XXXII. Except Elway is in the Hall-of-Fame. But at least Orton still has his brawny man beard.

Ok. So the news doesn’t quite deserve the poignancy of the Martin Luther King speech, but former Bears running back Cedric Benson will not be indicted for his two separate alcohol-related arrests earlier in the year.

In May, Benson was arrested for boating while intoxicated in Lake Travis, Texas; an incident made more famous for the alleged abuse by the cops and Benson’s cry-heard-’round-the-world for his mama.

A month later, Benson got pulled over while driving in Austin, Texas after he ran a red light. Police determined Benson to be drunk and two days later, the Bears determined him to be an ex-employee. (more…)

You have got to wonder if the pressure isn’t starting to get to defensive tackle Tommie Harris. Through three games this season — his first being the highest-paid DT in the NFL – Harris has produced only two tackles and one for loss.

Thus, it is completely understandable why he might employ sarcasm as a method of dealing with any potential ridicule. Or at least that’s what I might think if I were into that psychology bullshit. Which I’m totally not… I’m not. (more…)

Every week we’ll be posting the Bears’ ESPN Power Ranking, along with a picture of a crowd reaction (or would-be reaction) to said ranking:

The Bears are ranked 20 in this week’s ESPN Power Rankings. Last week: 15.

Wide receiver Mark Bradley is no longer a member of the Chicago Bears. Not by choice of course. The Bears waived him on Tuesday to make room for rookie cornerback Marcus Hamilton — a seventh-round pick by of all teams, the Tampa Bay Bucs. Alright.

What’s really messed up is Bradley’s not even Rashied Davis.

With the move, Kyle Orton remains the gem of the 2005 Bears draft class and the only member still with the team. Is the 2005 class going down in history as one of the worst ever or what?

Depending on whose version of events you believe, Bucs tackle Jeremy Trueblood either acted like a dick, or was grabbed near his during overtime of the Bears 27-24 loss on Sunday.

Trueblood was visibly atop Bears defensive end Adewale Ogunleye, throwing elbows to his head, immediately after a third-down play turned up unsuccessful for the Bucs midway through OT.

The obvious infraction went uncalled, but led to a skirmish that resulted in a shoving match between Charles Tillman and Bucs wide receiver Michael Clayton. Tillman was subsenquently, and unfairly, called for unecessary roughness, giving the Bucs new life and eventually the game. (more…)