Kyle Orton Feels “Betrayed” And “Hurt”; Requests Trade After Bears Inquire About Jay Cutler
TOMORROW’S HEADLINE: A new segment of Blog Down. Aimed at predicting the ridiculous and inevitable; tomorrow’s story lines as a result of today’s news.
A day after Yahoo! Sports writer Charles Robinson wrote that the Bears had, at the very least, made one inquiry into the status of disgruntled, sugar-sensitive Broncos quarterback Jay Cutler, Kyle Orton has formally divulged his displeasure with general manager Jerry Angelo and head coach Lovie Smith.
“I thought I was their guy,” Orton said, while tying little knots into his bushy, gruesome neckbeard. “Obviously, by them [calling the Broncos about Cutler], it sends the message, loud and clear, that they don’t want me on their team.”
Minutes after speaking with reporters, Orton’s agent, Dirk Eisenwicthz, said that Orton was so hurt and so betrayed by the team’s actions, he couldn’t fathom how’d he ever take the field in a Bears uniform again.
“Today, Kyle Orton has expressed his feelings to me, and has asked that the Bears either trade him, or release him,” said Eisenwadtlshz. “Kyle will not take the practice field; will not do anything. He’s committed to taking his near-80 quarterback rating and immobile body elsewhere.”
It’s unclear where Orton might end up, or if the Bears plan to honor his request for a trade, but either way, Orton’s not going down easily. Not, at least, without some sort of glare, head-scratch, or grimace. It just wouldn’t be the Orton way.
[...] Hilarious fake story about Orton being offended by Bears interest in Cutler. [Blog Down] [...]