Todd Sauerbrun Has Obviously Learned From His Mistakes

by Shea Johnson on Friday 1 May 2009 at 4:30 pm

Long-beleaguered ex-Bears punter, Todd Sauerbrun, has been arrested again, this time on a warrant for failing to appear in court for a case stemming from a January 2008 DUI charge.

Sauerbrun is probably most famous for his altercation with a taxi cab driver, but to limit that December 2007 incident as his most glorious infraction wouldn’t be giving justice to the other, equally as boneheaded, episodes that have seemingly defined his 13-year pro career.

In December 2004, Sauerbrun was both charged with a DWI and named in an investigation of steroid use in the NFL. Shockingly, prior to the 2006 season, he was suspended for four games after testing positive for the banned supplement ephedra.

In his last season with the Denver Broncos, Sauerbrun reached deep into his bag of idiot-kickery* and offered this glowing premonition prior to a visit to Soldier Field, and in reference to Devin Hester:

“We’re going after it. We’re not going to kick away from him. Hey, we respect him and he’s the best, but we have guys on our coverage teams that are paid to make big tackles.”

Two touchdown returns and a blocked punt later, and Sauerbrun was well on his way to being awarded Keith Olbermann’s “Worst Person in the NFL,” and being ousted from the NFL and propelled into tomfoolerish* infamy.

*words may or may not actually exist.