Hey all, I’ll be taking over for Shea for a few days while he ends his life by having his girlfriend move in with him, goes to sunny CA to visit his home boys and girls.

The offseason is brutal enough for us Bears fans. We have to suffer through the “Wait ‘til next year” refrain from Cubs fans, and the perpetual ineptitude of the Bulls. (Yes the Blackhawks were good this year but now that their season is done, I’m sure that 0.5% of the city cares) As if that wasn’t enough, for the past three off-seasons we’ve had to deal with the fucking Brett Favre saga.

 For the past three years around March the coverage starts. Slow at first, but my mid –April its all Favre all the christing time. While, it’s painful for the average football fan to go through day after day of Brett Favre saturated SportsCenters, it’s a hundred times worse for Bears fans.

/shrugs off angry comments from Vikings fans

This is Brett Favre!!!!! Formerly of the loathsome Green Bay Fudge Packers (tee hee). As a rabid Bears fan I/we HATE hearing what Brett is doing on an hourly basis. I don’t want to, I never wanted to. This is a man that has bent my team over the kitchen counter and went to town way too many times to count. Why the FUCK would I want to hear about his offseason tomfoolery, or his third ‘retirement’ or his sixth ‘comeback’. Since I’ve been a fan of the Bears and actually knew what was happening in a football game, Brett Favre has pissed on my dreams and taken my innocence. The less I hear about this dickhole the better.

I can almost look past his phony ‘retirements’ and glorious ‘comebacks’. (Even though they are deplorable and he should be impaled on 1,000 golden metal spikes) It’s more so the media outlets and the constant saturation of their programs with Brett Favre bs. Honestly what percentage of America wants to know that Brett Favre is talking to his agent, or throwing passing drills to high schoolers. Who, outside of Green Bay and Peter King (who’s head is so far up Favre’s ass he can see what was for breakfast) wants this much coverage? I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that 95% of football fans want to see Favre gone. No one wants him back and no one wants to fucking hear about it. Every time I see Favre coverage on ESPN while getting huge at the gym I immediately want to throatfuck the anchor talking. It’s that maddening.

It’s as if, ESPN, Peter King and every other major sports writer or outlet act as his personal Twitter feed.
@Americanpublic: Favre takes shit, uses single ply to wipe
@Americanpublic: Favre throws passes to Mississippi youth, wears Wranglers

If he’s coming back, here’s what I want; a thirty second spot telling me so. Here’s what should be said, the season ended, shit happened, and now he’s back/done for good (please). THAT’S FUCKING IT! Get it over with so I can see how my White Sox lost to Oakland 7-1. Here’s what I don’t want; a thirty second spot and then a five minute background story and timeline telling me shit that I already know dating back to 2006. How do I know this? BECAUSE YOU FUCKING DID IT LAST YEAR TOO!

Just end it already so we in Chicago can be spared a little more misery. Or I’ll kill Tom Brady’s kid.

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