The last post of the week: something to ponder as you await the certain couch slouch and booze binge of this weekend.

Dear Mr. 91,

This city would absolutely go bonkers if were you to return to your form pre-second half of the 2006 season. It would really make everything easier on all of us Bears fanatics. We aren’t asking for much here, just a season of seeing 91 in navy and orange in the offensive backfield. Heck, you can even keep the sacks to a minimum. In fact please do, we don’t seem to perform well when you’re making the opposing gunslingers eat grass.

I mean, you hear all the bitching and moaning about how Urlacher’s past his prime. How he can’t get off a block, how he’s a step slower, how he’s fathered another hooker’s kid, etc. If you could find it within yourself to start some disruption in the backfield on a consistent basis, Urlacher might start talking to people again!

At the very least you would ease the pressure on our ’secondary’ who will shit themselves at the sight of a semi-competent QB, which is pretty much everyone, outside of whoever gets the ‘privilege’ of leading the offense in Oakland. (shudders)

So come on Tommie, for Urlacher (and his bastard kids), for our secondary and for us, the fans, let’s get back to how it was in the good old days of 2005. I know your boy Tank is packing heat in football wasteland Cincinnati, but you’ve got Marcus, Dusty, Israel and a bunch of other guys to help you out.

Do it. Or I’ll take away all your Psalm 91 breathe right strips.