The last post of the week: something to ponder as you await the certain couch slouch and booze binge of this weekend.

Yeah, you read that right. According to these guys, our Bears have supplanted the ‘Boys as the NFL’s newest soap opera. Based on………Bobby ‘mexi-stache’ Wade’s claim that Urlacher told Lovie Smith who told Angelina who told Adrian Peterson who told Wade that Cutler was something similar to a cat?? A stretch? Why yes, I do think so!

Is the off-season that slow that this is the top story around the league?? I’m sure there are more compelling stories like the start of training camps, or the death of former Eagles defensive coordinator Jim Johnson, or T.O.’s new ‘reality’ show. I’m guessing this story goes away once Urlacher makes Roethlisberger eat grass come Week 2 and Cutler throws for 3 TD’s (pipe dream). (more…)

Don’t you tell Marcus Harrison a thing about his weight; you’ll only make him feel self-conscious. Besides, he’s got a lot on his plate… Oh, crap… I mean, he doesn’t look bad, not at all, and uh…everyone goes through weight fluctuations. Okay, I’ll shut up now. (more…)

Why Your Team Sucks” is a new feature that will merely be an excuse to talk shit about the rest of the conference. Yeah, this will make us a lot of friends.

Why They Suck: This franchise was started in 1976. Up until their ‘resurgence’ in the pitiful NFC West, they had, count ‘em people, three playoff victories until 2005. Gross. Arguably, their most recognizable player played less than half of the season in 2008, and is injured more often than Mike Brown. (more…)

Surely, Vikings receiver Bobby Wade had the bestest intentions–not like he wants to create rifts within a scary division opponent or anything–as he told KFAN in Minnesota that his former teammate thinks said former teammate’s new teammate is a “pussy”. Talk about the kettle saying Urlacher called the pot black!

UPDATE: Urlacher, not surprisingly, is denying it; Tommie Harris has taken to Twitter to defend him. Trust me, you haven’t heard the last of this; I have a stirring suspicion that things are about to get a lot more… stupid.

A few years back, the Bears drafted a safety out of Abilene Christian. His name was Danieal Manning and he did a pretty good job for two years. Then all of a sudden the coaching staff decided that Manning would better serve the defense as a nickel back and the great Kevin Payne (or Craig Steltz et al) could produce better than Manning could. Now I know Payne gives you eight missed tackles three bone crunching hits per game, but I have to believe that Manning is an upgrade at the position. At the very least, he’s better in coverage. (more…)

With the biggest Bears news of the day being terribly depressing, let’s try and focus on more happy times. Feel free to put your favorite Bears memories in the comments; FIRST, you get to hear and read mine. (more…)

If there is one thing a shaky, injury-riddled secondary does not need, it is the news that their top cornerback is out indefinitely after undergoing arthroscopic back surgery. Tillman could be ok’d to play as early as the final game of the preseason, but that’s assuming he isn’t rushed back on to the field after Vasher, Bowman, and McBride inevitably ‘splode.

Why Your Team Sucks” is a new feature that will merely be an excuse to talk shit about the rest of the conference. Yeah, this will make us a lot of friends.

Why They Suck: “If we had Plax on our team, we go 15-1 and we win the Super Bowl,” once said Brandon Jacobs. The good news is that Jacobs never indicated the likely outcome of not having Plax, but I assume it would have been a less glowing foretelling. (more…)

Quick, name a white guy who plays safety in the NFL!! (No, John Lynch retired.) Still thinking? If you got someone in the first ten seconds congratulations, you’re smarter than I am. There aren’t too many of them left out there, so it’s somewhat eyebrow raising that the Bears could possibly have one of their own this season. As has been said way too many times before, the Bears have questions at safety. What better a time to give the white guy a shot? (more…)

The last post of the week: something to ponder as you await the certain couch slouch and booze binge of this weekend.

I love that pro athletes are looking to Twitter to project their innermost thoughts, now; especially when those thoughts are relayed to other pro athletes for all the world to digest. Okay, okay, so most of these tweets are completely insignificant and futile, but holy crap if they’re not entertaining. Case in point: Devin Hester.

Why Your Team Sucks” is a new feature that will merely be an excuse to talk shit about the rest of the conference. Yeah, this will make us a lot of friends.

Why They Suck: With an emphasis on selling the farm to acquire high-priced, typically over-valued free agents, the Washington Redskins have set the model for what any self-respecting franchise does not want to do. No, that isn’t win; it’s to think any amount of opulence can buy you football brains. (more…)

ESPN’s resident football scientist KC Joyner is up to his old, numbers-driven wizardry once again. And this time, instead of comparing Jay Cutler to Rex Grossman, he’s using meticulous game-film study to indicate what no one already knew: Roberto Garza is one of the best guards in the game.