Why Your Team Sucks: Minnesota Vikings
“Why Your Team Sucks” is a new feature that will merely be an excuse to talk shit about the rest of the conference. Yeah, this will make us a lot of friends.
Why They Suck: You mean, that they wear purple isn’t enough? Okay, let’s try that they’re strongly contemplating signing Old Man River, Brett Favre. That’s right, a team with historical tendencies to choke, faulter, die, implode in the last quarter of the season wants to sign the least-freshest quarterback out there this side of Jeff George.
Good luck with that last, inevitably-needed playoff push when your Wranger-wearing ball-slinger collapses a lung from overexertion in Week 13. But, that’s okay; Tavaris Jackson/Sage Rosenfels awaits in the wings.
Great Moments In History… Of Sucking: On October 12, 1989, the Vikings decided that winning a Super Bowl just wasn’t for them, trading away what would very complicatedly materialize into two Super Bowl rings for the Cowboys (you’re next, assholes!) for one Herschel Walker.
More Reasons They Suck: The Vikings are the red-headed stepchild of the NFC Norris division. They can’t claim the tradition, nor rivalry, associated with the legendary Bears or Packers, nor have they been historically hapless like the Lions to garner the type of sympathy that would appear to make them relevant outside of Minnesota.
Oh, and there is always the Looove Boooat!, don’t ya know.
What a bunch of crap and you know it.
I got a good laugh out of that, nicely done!
Funnym seeing as how the Bears only redemption for any of their teams they have had to date is their defense. Rex is our QB…we got to the Super Bowl with Rex…Rex is our starter…Rex will be starting next week….uhhhhhh, were not sure about Rex…yeah he sucks let’s trade him. The only reason you made it to the super bowl was because of defense. Your offense was pathetic at best. I’m sure all the Bears fans thought…”were gonna win this! Hester just returned one for a TD on the opening kick off!” HAHAHAHA…that’s funny. Even with your ‘85 Bears your QB was only average…the defense once again carried them to the SB. Vikes have many more memberable moments offensively then the Bears will ever hope to have. What’s funny is all of Chicago thinks that Cuttler is going to come in and carry them to the SB! Wow, you guys live in a fucking bubble. WAKE UP…THE ALARM IS GOING OFF! AP will rush all over your defense that you have become so proud of in 09 just like he has in the past. And the Bears…well they will be left agian this season watching the playoffs from the comfort of their homes. Wonder which Bears player has AP, Taylor, Barrian, and Favre on their fantasy teams? Bears suck…always have…always will. Hugs from MN and all the ViKINGS fans.
Um….the Vikings won the NFC North last year with Gus Frerotte and Tarvaris Jackson at QB. Bears fans need to step out of 1985 and into 2009. Vikings and Packers own the NFC North.
Hit a nerve I see, muppets lol
Well done, I am a Bears fan living in Minnesota and it’s funny how they think they can go all the way with AP, Jared Allen, and the Williams brothers and that Brett Favre can only help. Vikings talk shit in the offseason and then when they start losing then they shut up. And Vikes Fan, no Bears fan lives in fucking 1985, I don’t know what you’re talkin about. And we suck? Who has won 9 championships compared to none asshole? Plus Berrian isn’t even considered a valuable fantasy option, and neither will Favre if he signs with the Vikes. I don’t blame you for getting your hopes up high, it’s typical cocky-ass Viking fans, which is why I think Jared Allen was born a Viking cause he fits right in with them. But you are the Vikings, you always find a way to screw it up.
Well done, I am a Bears fan living in Minnesota and it’s funny how they think they can go all the way with AP, Jared Allen, and the Williams brothers and that Brett Favre can only help. Vikings talk shit in the offseason and then when they start losing then they shut up. And Vikes Fan, no Bears fan lives in fucking 1985, I don’t know what you’re talkin about. And we suck? Who has won 9 championships compared to none asshole? Plus Berrian isn’t even considered a valuable fantasy option, and neither will Favre if he signs with the Vikes. I don’t blame you for getting your hopes up high, it’s typical cocky-ass Viking fans, which is why I think Jared Allen was born a Viking cause he fits right in with them. But you are the Vikings, you always find a way to screw it up.
+1
Since the last person to leave a comment left one on July 18, that says that nobody really cares about the Vikings sucking. Everybody knows that the season has to play out. And “newflash”, they can go all the way with an old man because he’s been there. The defense should cover some mistakes, which makes it possible to win a Super Bowl. I credit the Bears of ‘85, but what have they done lately? That’s the kind of world we live in. We are improving, but Lovie Smith only moved because he’s on the hot-seat. You got a good QB, but his numbers were not that impressive: 4,526 yds (impressive), 25Tds (average), and 18Ints (whoa!!!…and that was with a Pro Bowl receiver). We’ll see how he does with no clear #1 receiving talent. This year’s defense for Chicago should be good once again, but the Vikings should be good on both sides of the ball. If anyone’s noticed, Favre in his old age has made less mistakes. He was hurt last year by a bum shoulder, but if he stays healthy, we should see a dramatic difference in our aerial attack. So to all the haters in Chicagoland, don’t think for a second we don’t have the juice.
Favre has made less mistakes? In the past four years Favre has thrown 84 interceptions, that’s hardly the man you want to be leading your team on Sunday. Not to mention, like the Vikings, he has history of choking in the big games.
What have the Bears done lately? They made it to the Super Bowl recently, which is more than I can say for the Vikings. I’m not even a Bears fan, but at least the organization has won a Super Bowl, the Vikings were utterly humiliated in the 4 Super Bowls they played in the 70s. The most points they ever scored in a Super Bowl was 14. And who can forget the 98 season when the Vikings went 15-1 and still didn’t make the Super Bowl. The Vikings are sad sack franchise.
How can a team that has achieved nothing be so cocky? It baffles to hear Vikings players talking trash on a yearly basis, when they have nothing to boast about.
Wow, congratulations you won another meaningless division title.
It will be fun to see the Vikings crash and burn with Favre behind center.
Vikings fans used to hate Favre, on several occasions they said he “sucked” or was “overrated,” now their buying Favre jerseys. Keep the receipts, you’ll probably want to return them when he fails to take you to the Super Bowl.