Why Your Team Sucks: Detroit Lions — Blog Down, Chicago Bears

Why Your Team Sucks: Detroit Lions

by Shea Johnson on Tuesday 21 July 2009 at 7:00 pm

Why Your Team Sucks” is a new feature that will merely be an excuse to talk shit about the rest of the conference. Yeah, this will make us a lot of friends.

Why They Suck: Oh boy, here’s my chance to take a dig at one of the most hapless franchises in all of the NFL. Do I want to play it discreetly with an “it’s too easy” or “see: last season” or lay it on heavy with an enfilade of painful reminders of why even Tim Taylor couldn’t save the Lions. Umm… Let’s just go with that 0-16 thing.

Zero wins in 16 tries isn’t good I assume. Actually, it’s so bad, guard Dominic Raiola was probably contemplating leaving it off his resume. But, at least nothing in the horrid campaign ever took the route of an uncalled for, personal, awkward slant. Oh! That’s right.

Great Moments In History… Of Sucking: There once was a guy named Matt Millen. To his credit, the Lions won a game under his seven-year tenure as CEO and President–31, as a matter of fact–but invariably, they lost 84 and used up first-round draft picks on where-are-they-nows Joey Harrington, Charles Rogers and Mike Williams.

More Reasons Why They Suck: The son of the greatest player in franchise history, Barry Sanders Jr., doesn’t even like his dad’s former team. “I’m a Redskins fan because I like Clinton Portis. They also have Jason Campell and that defense. The Lions — they’re coming along — they have my good old friend Brandon Pettigrew. So hopefully he can put in a little work and they can win a game or two.” Thanks?

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1,137 views Posted under Why Your Team Sucks, detroit lions

5 Comments

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    this one could have just been a title only post

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