There’s arguably worse ways to start an era. He could have displayed poor decision making, exhibited mechanics that would make you think Rex Grossman should have his own video teaching series, or even blamed one of his own receivers for a self-inflicted interception. But no, Jay Cutler did none of these things. Okay, okay: he did all of them.

For sake of keeping my world spinning on its axis, I’m taking the route of “understand it’s only the first preseason game” for two reasons: There was nothing redeeming about Cutler’s performance last night, and I won’t admit that I fully expected him to throw for eight touchdowns on seven passing attempts.

The other quarterback, Caleb Hanie, did well, though. He looked every bit comfortable in the pocket, making quick decisions, and putting the ball where it needed to be. Obviously, too early for the let-Hanie-start talk to begin, but it’s slightly comforting to know he can shred through a second-team defense.

None of the three running backs tried in the game–Jones, Wolfe, and Peterson–stood out. The offensive line did really, really well pass-blocking, but weren’t quite opening the holes you’d like to see in the run game. It was interesting to see that Josh Beekman was supplanted by Frank Omiyale to start at left guard, and based on last night, it will probably be Omiyale on opening day.

The one thing that upsets me more than anything is the lack of trust put into any wide receiver not named Devin Hester or Rashied Davis. First, let me say, I get that it’s not a secret our receiving corps is weak. But, we need to see who else might contribute this season, and both Brandon Rideau and Devin Aromashodu–two supposed sleeper picks–weren’t given any chance to make a play.

On defense, the front four, at any given time, were simply not getting enough of a push toward the quarterback. The secondary was worse, thus allowing Trent Edwards and Ryan Fitzpatrick 23-for-26 combined passing. Oh yeah, T.O. didn’t even suit up for the game, either.

Urlacher and Briggs were on point, running sideline to sideline and consistently getting strong penetration (see: previous post) off the snap. In fact, all the linebackers had their moments at one time or another. And yes, that means even Jamar Williams.

I think the biggest surprise of the night was Al Afalava-lava… ooh. Mr. Boombastic started the game at strong safety and was all over the place, eyes wide open. Think: Mike Singletary, but even more batshit crazy. If he continues to play like he did last night, he’ll hold on to the starting position. Who would have thunk?

Woodny Turrene made some plays, plus I simply have a natural affinity to players with dreads. It’s not gay, it goes back to my hardcore Madden days a few years ago, when R.W. McQuarters’ Madden character owned the NFL. It was thought by me at the time that editing all secondary draft picks to have dreads would act as an instantaneous upgrade… I was right.

Bears play the Giants on Saturday.

More from Blog Down, Chicago Bears

• Kevin Shaffer Tries Left Guard, Mike Martz Gushes Over Wideouts, And Is Juice Williams Your New Third-String Quarterback
• Bears Draft Corey Wootton. And I Try To Convince You (Myself) It Was A Good Pick
• Mike Ditka And Tiger Woods Together At Last, Jay Cutler Drinks Up On Dollar Beer Night, And Forget About O.J Atogwe