Update: Sullivan and I share a brain, at least on this subject. So reread the post for his thoughts on this as well.

Who didn’t see this coming? And who doesn’t find this terribly annoying? Chad Johnson (I refuse to call him Ochocinco) took to Twitter to start talking smack to Jay-Jay and AB.

First off, Twitter in the hands of #85 in a Bengals uniform is like a nuke in the hands of Iran. (Ok, maybe a nuke in the hands of an Somalian, it’s annoying but thats about it). Seriously though, who has the time to Tweet over 100 times in a day??? Yes I have a Twitter account, and I update it once every couple of days, maybe. What could you possibly be telling people?? Do people actually ‘follow’ him?

At any rate Cutler didn’t really take the bait that Chad hung out there, just some good natured ribbing. AB got into it a bit with Chad, but again nothing too big. Is this how far it’s come. Do players (or just player) really resort to talking shit via the web? That’s about the lamest, pussiest way to talk shit ever. A word of advice Chad, you play football, which is a man’s game. The way you talk shit to other players is by curb stomping them outside of nightclubs, or eating raw T-bones outside of their houses in full view of their children. You do not play Dungeons and Dragons or World of Warcraft and thus you can not and should not spend most of your time looking to see who’s on Twitter and typing away like some pimple-faced kid who free bases Mountain Dew.

You know I think that’s just what America’s youth needs, an ignorant alternative vernacular used by celebrities and professional athletes to combat our sub par literacy rate. That or more role models with gold teeth, it’s definitely one or the other.

So thank God Twitter came along, so “Ochocinco” could put himself in the headlines during the week, despite this game really being about Benson, Palmer, and an improved Bengals defense. We get it Chad, you’re still a top 10/15 receiver. You might score a touchdown in the game and entertain us again with your River Dance or maybe a preplanned skit? Maybe if Roger Goodell hadn’t broken you years ago, T.O. and yourself used to be so much more entertaining when you had balls… If you have any sort of game at all, it will be mostly due to Carson Palmer, Cedric Benson, or the always feasible complete breakdown in our suspect secondary.

But please don’t run your mouth as if you’ re still in your prime and an elite receiver. Let’s face the facts you’re on the bad side of 30 in the NFL and you’ve got three or maybe four years left max. Then you’re going to have to get into broadcasting or be on some stupid reality show. Without either of those, you will have to ride off into the sunset of almost HOF worthy players and no one is going to want to read your tweets. But until that crossroad, we are going entertain your narcissistic outbursts and desperate cries for attention.

That is why Twitter was made for people like you Chad, just another channel of expression for people who legitimately believe the world cares as much about their thoughts as they do. You know incase their Myspace page, Facebook page, and personal blog didn’t provide ample insight into their facinating existence. If we all are going to be forced to be exposed to your innermost musings, then quite frankly you’re going to have to be more amusing. No one said the entertaining narration of everyday boring life would come easy. Oh and Chad whatever, please learn how to spell, it’s for the kids…

Oh look the Bears got Gaines Adams from Tampa. Can he play Right Guard?

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