The Bills have fired their meek and under-performing head coach Dick Jauron after a 3-6 start to the season. Obviously, this means only one thing: It opens the door for Bears/Jauron v2.0!

What better head coach is there to lead the Bears to the promised land? Sure, you’ve got Shanahan, Holmgren, Cowher, Rivera, fuck — even Weiss, Billick, or Gruden — but has either of these guys led the Bears to not more than one improbable 13-3 season like Jauron has?

Jauron understands what it takes to win and that’s miraculous back-to-back overtime victories on Mike Brown interceptions, 70-yard Keith Traylor fumble return scampers and Jim fucking Miller. And I guarantee Jauron does everything in his power to bring everyone back too. We’re talking the A-Train, Phillip Daniels, Paul Edinger, Rosey Colvin and John Shoop.

Oh, holy hell! What an offense Shoop would direct! And it’s not like he isn’t available. Where has he been? What sounds more appealing on Sunday — leading a stylistically predictable offense to not holding it’s own weight or playing Texas Hold ‘Em with Dave Wannstedt, Greg Blache and Shane Matthews?

If you’re down Dicky Boy, I’m down: Lead these Bears to improbable victory! 2001! 2001! 2001!

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