If just for a minute, you would be willing to put aside your contempt for trimmed jorts, maddening indecisiveness and oh-gee-golly vernacular, you would surely find that Brett Favre is simply misunderstood. And this newfound reverence toward Favre has absolutely nothing to do with his recent comments calling Jay Cutler “damn good”. Okay, so it has everything to do with that.

In a time when every one in Bears-world is ready to turn in their allegiances, calling for the heads of every man, woman and child in the box suites at Soldier Field and fearing a world-ending, franchise implosion, Favre offers a refreshingly optimistic assessment of the 2009 version of the Bears:

“For Jay, I know the expectations level obviously was high, as it would have been high in Denver. It comes with a lot of extra baggage, being the star quarterback. … You try to do too much. I know Jay a little bit, but I don’t know him all that well, so it would be unfair for me to sit here and say what he’s thinking or doing or whatever. But I think they picked him up for a reason. I think he’s damn good. I think he will be good. He’ll be fine … that team will be much better off with him than without him.”

… Said the division rival! Of course, he wants us to fail. Clearly, the only way for Bears management to respond to these comments are to take ‘em and flip ‘em around. Kind of like opposite day. But wait, there’s more:

“Anytime the Bears would be a .500 or less, it’s a surprise,” he said. “Lovie’s teams have always been very good. And I think they are now. They have had some key injuries. No doubt losing Brian (Urlacher) there at middle linebacker is a huge loss.

“I think Hunter (Hillenmeyer) has done a heck of a job. I still think Lance Briggs is one of if not the best linebacker in football. And Tommie Harris has still got the quickness.”

So, to summarize: Being the star quarterback is an effortless job and Jay Cutler really is just a big pussy. The Bears would be better off ridding themselves of his penchant for throwing interceptions from inside the opposing team’s ten-yard line, not to mention, craptastic shag-do.

Brett Favre is not fucking surprised at all that the Bears are below .500. They aren’t very good. Urlacher is not what he  once was and Hillenmeyer is not what Jamar Williams once was. In conclusion, fuck Lance Briggs because he likes comic books and Tommie Harris is only quick as in quick to act in a way that is both embarrassing and self-destructive.

You seriously have to be good at this decoding stuff to get down to the real meanings anymore.