Since Jim McMahon, men who have played quarterback while simultaneously donning a Chicago Bears uniform have (mostly) sucked. You can outright fault the organization or pacifyingly fault the organization, but no matter what, nothing can save these 27 poor souls from an unenvious shared history; having been through, what many believe to be, “quarterback hell”.

Think about it for a second: 27 quarterbacks have started at least one game for the Bears in the last 27 years. Most college football programs boast a more stable quarterbacking environment and, much like in Chicago, the opportunity to start in college usually won’t exceed three years. So, why are things the way that they are?

Is it the run-first offense, horrific scouting, failure to address other needs, predictable coaching, awful luck, extreme pressure put forth by media and fans stemming from the paranoia of maybe never having a “franchise” quarterback, or something else entirely? We may never know, but we shan’t forget the fallen:

Steve Walsh (1994-1996)
Walsh had a marginally impressive first season in Chicago, stepping  in for an injured Erik Kramer after three games and leading the Bears to a wild card win against Minnesota. While his record as a starter (8-3) was solid, his numbers were too Kyle Orton-esque for the team’s liking (2078 yards, 10 TD, 8 INT) and after he sat the bench the entire following season, he was summarily released.

Dave Krieg (1996)
Too put it in perspective, Krieg played his lone season for the Bears when I was 12. He was drafted four years before I was born. It doesn’t even matter that he played admirably (2278 yards, 14 TD, 12 INT), starting 12 games because — yep, you guessed it — Erik Kramer was hurt again. It goes to show the reasoning of the Bears organization when they’ll start a very old-ass journeyman instead of one who was 8-3 just two years before.

Rick Mirer (1997)
Um … zero touchdowns and six interceptions in seven games played indicates that you, Rick Mirer, are not, in fact, a golden boy. Mirer was so bad, he threw the same number of touchdowns as Curtis Conway. But why would you expect a bust in the first four years of their career to be anything but in their fifth, right? And it only cost us a first-round pick!

Steve Stenstrom (1995-1998)
After Erik Kramer suffered through his yearly I’m-too-injured-to-play-football hiatus, Stenstrom was awarded the right to start the final seven games of the ‘98 season. He rewarded the Bears with pedestrian efforts (1-6 record, 1252 yards, 4 TD, 6 INT) not seen since the likes of … okay, it’s pretty comparable to almost every motherfucking quarterback on here.

Moses Moreno (1998)
A man before his time, Moses Moreno would surely have gotten Mark Sanchez-deserving ass — now that Mexicans are hot! — had he played just ten years later. Moreno was Mexican, right? Instead, his one-start — a 19-43, 166 yard-outing — would probably ensure that he would see less ass than his brother, Zeke, and he plays in Canadia.

Shane Matthews (1993-1995, 1996, 1999-2001)
The Bears were so high on Matthews that, despite not allowing him to start for six years — okay, so they weren’t that high on him — they added him to their roster on three separate occasions. The third time around was when he was most effective, starting seven games and throwing 10 touchdowns to just six interceptions in 1999.

Cade McNown (1999-2000)
So he might have stolen Tim Couch’s girlfriend and taken one of Hugh Hefner’s on a Mexican getaway, earning himself a lifelong ban from the Playboy Mansion, but who could blame him? I, personally, am more distressed by how much of douchebag Cade McNown was on the field: A 3-12 record as a starter, 16-19 TD-INT ratio, and a career 67.7 quarterback rating — clearly, just points above his IQ.

Jim Miller (1998-2002)
Hadn’t played for three years previous to the Bears picking him up, and as often happens in Chicago football, Miller becomes one of the most successful quarterbacks in recent memory. Quarterbacked both of Marty Booker’s 1000-yard campaigns and “led” (2299 yards, 13 TD, 10 INT that year)  the Bears to the 2001 NFC Divisonal playoffs, where he checked out early after separating his shoulder. Injuries pretty much derailed his career.

Chris Chandler (2002-2003)
When you’re bringing in 112-year old personnel to offset the problems caused by injuries, you know … you’re the 2002-03 Chicago Bears? Except, Chandler was not surprisingly (for an old-ass journeyman) just as injury-plagued himself, starting 13 games over two years, throwing for 2073 yards and seven touchdowns to 11 interceptions.

Only nine quarterbacks left, and yes — one of them is Kordell Stewart. It’s amazing to me that nine starting quarterbacks can be covered when only seven years separates us from Chris Chandler. What a world we Bears fans live in … Oh, and in case you didn’t get enough, you can read Part 1 of 3 here.