Devin Hester Wants You To Know He Is Not, I Repeat, Not An Informant
Yesterday, Devin Hester spoke of what he referred to as “changes” to take place within the Bears organization next year. Then, he took to what is becoming the informal press release, Twitter, to insist the usual; that his words were taken out of context, you know, yada, yada, yada … But, he also vehemently denied ever being a fly on the wall in Jerry Angelo’s office, which is always weird.
Since Hester’s comments were likely just the product of frustration nearing the end of a disappointing season, they aren’t really a big deal. The real story here is in his Twitter retort showcasing his sudden acquisition of articulation and grammar, something that I noticed too, but Sarah Spain was eloquently all over.
You don’t really believe that Hester went from “dawg u playin bruh?” and “wuts up Lil man thanks for begin a fan” to a five-part clarification piece that started with this and sounded awfully good and publicist-y, do you? No, of course not. The true problem I have with this, besides the fact he’s lying, is that he felt he had to go back and “fix” things. Fuck it, tell the truth, Devin. We all know the shit is, more or less, about to hit the fan …
“I feel like the media blew my interview out of proportion and that everything I said was reworded or taken the wrong way.”
My publicist has locked me out of my Twitter account for the next foreseeable 20 minutes …
“. When I am asked, “Will there be changes?” my answer is “yes”. What I mean is; there will always be new guys (rookies, trades or coaches)”
When I am asked “will there be heads begotten?” my answer is “oh u kno bruh”. What I mean is; there will always be boobs to be replaced (myself at wideout*, Ron Turner, Frank Omiyale, and pretty much everyone in the secondary not named Charles Tillman).
“That goes for every team, whether you are picked up or traded, it is still a change to the team.”
31 teams every year do not win the Super Bowl. You’ll usually know the ones that do, because they’re the ones whose players don’t say sad things like this.
“After reading current articles I feel like the press tried to make me seem like I had inside information on the future of coaches or players”
Someone in the locker room may, or may not, have taken a shit on Jay Cutler’s chest.
“Which is not the case at all.”
It was Greg Olsen.
*You know his place is as full-time return man, bruh!


“After reading current articles…”
I think that statement should have been the biggest clue that this may not have come from Hester.
… Or the missing (incoherent mumble) tag in between every third word.
I am having a hard time wondering why we are still going through this season with Turner and Lovie still here. As a 50 year fan of the Bears I some times wonder how in the hell do they still sell tickets. This team this season sucks. They will have to back up to the pay window this year to even collect their pay checks. Tonight when the so called Bears get on their plane let Lovie and Turner walk back to Chicago and just think how bad they are stinking up the NFL. Butch Bennett Conesville Ia
let Lovie and Turner walk back to Chicago and just think how bad they are stinking up the NFL
It’s going to take Ron Turner a lengthy amount of time to walk from Baltimore to Chicago just four yards at a time.
SNITCHES GET STITCHES!!!! AND PROPERLY USED PARENTHESES!!!!