♫ Kool & The Gang’s “Celebration” ♪

“Hey there! What’s going on? Come on in; glad you could make it! There’s drinks near the back and food right over there. Yeah, I know, right? What’s that? … I still couldn’t hear you. Oh! Who’s that? On the floor? That’s Matt, he writes for the blog. What? … Oh, is he okay? I don’t know, let me see: Matt! MATT! MAAAATTTTT! Are you alright?!”

Matt: “*Gurgle* It’s my fucking heart. It’s blowed up, I think. God damn Urlacher jersey and my blowed-up heart! … GO. HAWK. EYYYYYYES!! AHHHHHGGGG!! …”

/loses consciousness, dies?

“Yeah, he’s fine, see? You gotta try the corndogs!”

Welcome lady and gentleman, to our 2nd anniversary and end-of-the-year party. As you can see, I’m diverting from my usual — as my girlfriend calls it — matter-of-fact, horribly shitastic writing style, and trying to liven things up a little. Fuck it, it’s the end of the decade, right?

2009 has been very, very good to me. And by that, I mean I might be unemployable but at least I am broke. When Blog Down began in December of 2007, it was pretty awful. Since then, it’s undergone quite a few dramatic transformations and is now only slightly awful. We’ve gone from 4.5 pageviews per day in our early beginnings to what I’m told is 926 per day now. Obviously, we’ve benefited from staying consistent and not giving in when it looked super-duper bleak, but also, we believe we’ve mostly found our voice.

1. Where We Sort Of Start A West Coast-East Coast Feud With Windy City Gridiron

We’re not going to beat any major outlets to breaking stories; we’re not going to be all over Yahoo!, USA Today, CBS Sports, or NFL Fanhouse because we’re part of a conglomerate partnership; and we’re not going to foster a free-for-all, throw-anything-up-against-the-wall-and-see-if-it-sticks environment. Fuck. That.

What we will continue to do is provide fans with what is really important: the meat and potatoes with a side of warm Glogg. If you want to read about the Bears from a smart, occasionally clever, and different perspective than ESPN or the like, you’ll find that here. If you want overanalysis, it’s not here. If you like intense statistical breakdowns, you’ll rarely find it. If you want detailed information about Lance Briggs’ famed baby-making ability … well, you might find that here.

The best part of it all is that we are truly, in every sense of the word, independent, meaning we have no one to answer to. We can say whatever the fuck it is we want. And for now, what we’d like to say is “thanks”. Nice segue! Thank you to all of those who have joined us during the course of 2009 — and even before. We’re grateful that you read and even more grateful when you comment. It’s only when we’re exposed to the smart, intelligent comments that you leave, when we become fully self-aware about the relative quality of our own product.

2. Help Us Help You

We want to know what you’d like to see from us in 2010 … seriously, what would move us an echelon? Let us know, because as much as we all think we know, there are hoards of people out there with much better ideas. If you’re one of them, comment. Or send us an e-mail. Nothing is too big or too small. On the other hand, some shit is too dumb, so before you push your index finger on your keyboard’s “enter” button , ask yourself, “would my Dragon Ball Z-watching little brother be impressed?” If the answer is “yes”, revise suggestion accordingly.

3. Putting Another Obstacle In The Way Of People Who Already Don’t Want To Comment

Starting January 1, you will be required to log in to comment, as opposed to just entering a name. While we understand that it’s a slight pain in the ass, our own experiences commenting on our respective favorite sites has told us that it makes for tighter community … and we might even let you contribute.*

*No, we wont.

4. And Finally, My Ten Favorite Posts From The Year

10. Tommie Harris Isn’t Even Trying Anymore (Lutui Face-Punch Video)

Tommie Harris once tried to eye-gouge Rip Hamilton. Probably.

9. Rick Morrissey Rains On Your Parade

Matty Ice yells at Rick Morrissey while I’m visiting family in California, unavailable to edit his hate mongering.

8. The Metrodome Will Decapitate Superfans With Its Trivial Stupidity

A classic fish-out-of-water tale featuring real-life Minnesotans, dontcha know!

7. This One Time, At My Inaugural Bears Game

I once wore a Rex Grossman jersey to a Bears game. Here’s the kicker: It wasn’t in 2005.

6. The Extreme Delusions of Peter Warrick

In one of Matt’s earliest posts, he manages to revivify the name of Peter Warrick to subsequently make fun of him.

5. Urlacher Loves Him Some Grossman … Not That There’s Anything Wrong With That

Linked by Deadspin. Snapped picture with cell phone camera. Easiest earned traffic. Ever.

4. Quarterback Hell: A Chicago Bears Quarterback Retrospective Parts 1-3

More painful of a retrospective than Glenn Beck: A Retrospective which certainly exists somewhere.

3. May Brandon Rideau Haunt You In Your Dreams

The only way I knew how to get the sadness out.

2. Painfully Revisiting The Lisa Lampanelli And Still Unidentified Chicago Bear Sex Romp

Seriously … who did Lisa Lampabelli fuck?

1. Nathan Vasher’s Mom Lovers Her Baby, Our Little Blog

The highlight of our year: Nate Vasher’s mom reaches out to us. Surprisingly, haven’t heard from her since.

Honorable Mention:

Denver Just Got A Hell Of A Lot More Interesting; Broncos Meet Your New Starting Quarterback

Mike Ditka Sees Red In The Mirror And Over The Brady Rule

Bears DT Takes One For Team; Dementia, Death Closing In

5. Happy New Year From Our Family To Yours

We’ll be seeing you around these parts for the foreseeable future when we’ll talk, debate, and opine Bears football. For now, let us celebrate.

More from Blog Down, Chicago Bears

• Kevin Shaffer Tries Left Guard, Mike Martz Gushes Over Wideouts, And Is Juice Williams Your New Third-String Quarterback
• Bears Draft J’Marcus Webb. And He Couldn’t Be More Stoked
• What’s Happened To Blog Down, Chicago Bears?