Breaking: Something Has Happened To Lovie Smith And Ron Turner
By now, a decision has already been made on the respective futures of Lovie Smith, Ron Turner and the rest of the Bears coaching staff. It’s just that I’m stuck at work right now, so unfortunately, I won’t be able to update this thing. Ah, see how I did that: I’m writing from the future!
As listed earlier in the Head Coach Rumor Mill, Lovie is expected to return. Ron Turner is probably gone, even though he’s nervously optimistic about it all. The only other coach I might even begin to speculate on is quarterbacks coach Pep Hamilton. He has to go by default, amIright?
So, congratulations Bears fans: you got what you wanted. Lovie Smith is coming back, or fired, Ron Turner is fired, or assaulted with police clubs, and the Bears are on their way to a division title next season being relocated to New Hampshire.
On a side note, I’m sorry guys I did it this way. This is big news; I get it. But … here is how you give me a break: I’m not technically at work. Well, I am, but it’s actually an internship. UNPAID. And you all know what unpaid internships are. They’re the last thing you do in a futile attempt to gain employment, right before you move back in with your parents. Shhhhh! You guys can come over, just keep it in the garage and be gone by 11.
More to come tonight.
Uh, this whole “log in to comment” thing doesn’t seem to be going so hot. Either that or my horrible Chris Henry joke was so distasteful that it drove everyone away.
Personally, I loved the joke. I found it hysterical. But, I was mostly away from a computer since I was ice fishing. Now that I’ve warmed up, I’m all set.
Yes, it is your fault, Jer. It has absolutely nothing to do with us … Aaand SCENE.
BUT SERIOUSLY, PLEASE DON’T EVER EVER STOP COMMENTING!1 EVER!1 EVER!1