Matt Forte Clearly Has Both A Cell Phone And An A/S/L
The last post of the week; something to ponder as you await the certain couch slouch and booze binge of the weekend.
This is literally the exact photograph you would find in your e-mail after spending 14 minutes talking to Matt Forte in an all-ages chat room. Of course, this is predicated on the idea that you’d be a woman and Matt Forte worked the night shift at the Golden Nugget Pancake House.
Ponder This:
The Bears have contacted Mike Martz about the vacant offensive coordinator position, meaning we’re 76% closer to becoming 12% better. Why do I say this? Because, the best thing to do when you “get off the bus running” is to bring in an offensive mastermind known for implementing a pass-happy scheme.
An other candidate for the OC opening, Jeremy Bates, interviews at Halas Hall on Monday. But with speculation Pete Carroll could be the next Seahawks head coach, it would make sense that he would consider asking Bates, his OC at USC, to join him.
Not a lot happening on the defensive coordinator front, except Perry Fewell is interviewing on Monday too. Contrary to popular belief, he is not the lead singer of Jane’s Addiction. Yet if he was, he’d probably say something like, “Ted [Phillips], just admit it … you were standing in the shower thinking … for too long, we’ve been under an idiots rule. I’d ask to be head coach, but know one’s leaving. But, so what! I implore you to hook it up and hire me as your new defensive coordinator. I would for you. Thank you boys.”
And, to end it all on an obvious note: Adolf Hitler will not be the next head coach of the Chicago Bears. How original.
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Photo credit: Gapers Block
Jay says… We’ll run the ball tomorrrrrooowwww.