Schadenfreude (AFC Edition): San Diego Chargers
Schadenfreude, formerly Why Your Team Sucks, is a bi-weekly (hopefully) posting about the unfortunate moments and embarrassments of all NFL teams NOT named the Chicago Bears. As we already trudged through the waste of the NFC we are doing the AFC. Your comments, venom and hate-mail are encouraged and appreciated.
In all honesty, this is a team that I have a hard time finding reasons to dislike. They have badass uniforms, they used to have the most likable superstar in the league, they don’t have an overly obnoxious fan base, they play in a city that has the most perfect weather of any US city and they have hot cheerleaders, but that will not stop the Schadenfreude train from running this team and it’s ‘history’ into the ground.
The Bad: Admittedly, most people thought it was a smart move to get rid of Drew Brees after his disgusting shoulder injury to end the 2004 season. Philip Rivers was waiting in the wings and Brees seemed to have little- to-no shot to continue playing football. Cut to this year (or 2008, or 2007) and…..oopsie.
Now you’ve got San Diego, which once AGAIN choked in the playoffs after a stellar regular season, and you’ve got Brees: the Super Bowl winning QB, MVP, darling of the US of A, unquestioned hero and leader of New Orleans, and he’s about to get his ass PAID! Goes to show you the thin line those GM’s walk. AJ Smith…………….GM FAIL!!!!!!!!!!! I think it would be hilarious if next year LT goes off for…….oh……..the Texans (you heard it here first).
The Worse: The Chargers were brought into the AFL in 1961 and got off to a strong start making the playoffs in their first year, only to start a trend that continues to this day; crushing disappointment in the playoffs. The Chargers would actually win a playoff game in 1963, only to not win another postseason game until 1980. In that span of time, they would make the playoffs five other times.
You might argue their recent division championships in ’07, ’08 and ’09 excludes them from the criticism I spew. I would then call you stupid because the Chargers inter-division competition is laughable. When you play the Raiders, Chiefs and Broncos six out of 16 games in a season, you either need to pray for good scheduling or just eke out two or three more wins to assure a playoff berth. The Chargers routinely beat up on the teams of the NFL who piss and shit their pants at school (Oakland, KC) and their older and mildly retarded cousin (Denver). Congratulations, can’t wait to see you lose to the Bengirls in 2011.
The Rotten Egg Fart Smelling Bottom of the Barrel: The Chargers surprised a lot of people in 1994 by beating the Steelers in Pittsburgh 17-14 to earn the right to be the sacrificial lamb opponent to Steve Young and the 49ers. Now, I remember this game well. I was 12. I hated the 49ers, so I was pulling for the Chargers. Stupid pre-teen optimism. There was zero chance that San Diego could even sniff Jerry Rice’s jockstrap and they more than proved that on the field. The teams combined to score a record ten touchdowns. The 49ers scored seven of them. How does a ‘Super Bowl defense’ let that happen??? Young straight up WORKED the Charger secondary. And did he worked them well.
Young was 24 out of 36 passing for 325 yards and *gasp* SIX touchdowns (A record, obviously). That marked the Chargers one and only Super Bowl appearance, the one where Steve Young did whatever the fuck he wanted and the 49ers stopped trying to run the ball because San Diego couldn’t stop the passing game (It says something when Young was the game’s top rusher with a robust 49 yards). The Chargers probably should have gotten back to one of the past three or four Super Bowls but they choke in the postseason worse than a Vietnamese hooker.
Also, fight song=Gay.
Yeah, but if Neal hadn’t, then a strong wind would’ve done it in Week 2.
Don’t forget Lorenzo Neal effectively ending our season with one swift cheapshot block on Mike Brown in Week 1 of 2007.