Assumptive Blogging — Blog Down, Chicago Bears

Goodbye, Adewale Ogunleye, Possessor Of Better Name Than “Aaron Kampman”

by Shea Johnson on Thursday 25 February 2010 at 1:45 pm

He was such a force in the NFC championship three years ago. With exception to the Cutler-for-rights-to-participate-in-the-NFL-Draft swap, he was the recompense in the Bears’ biggest trade of the last 10 years. And I so proudly learned to say his name correctly. For these reasons, I’m going to miss Adewale Ogunleye. (more…)

Posted under Adewale Ogunleye,Assumptive Blogging,End of an Era (Or Not),Sad,free agency,offseason

Bears In Talks With USC OC Jeremy Bates

by Matt Phillip on Thursday 7 January 2010 at 8:55 am

Via the Worldwide Leader, the Bears are going to talk with USC offensive coordinator Jeremy Bates as correctly pointed out a few days ago by one of our astute commenters. Normally, I would love this idea, sort of. USC has consistently put out above average-to-killer offenses over the last ten years. However, you only need to look at Norm Chow’s lukewarm history in the NFL to know that success is tough to come by (DUH!). (more…)

Posted under Assumptive Blogging,Ron Turner,a cry for help?,matt phillip,offseason

Breaking: Something Has Happened To Lovie Smith And Ron Turner

by Shea Johnson on Tuesday 5 January 2010 at 11:00 am

By now, a decision has already been made on the respective futures of Lovie Smith, Ron Turner and the rest of the Bears coaching staff. It’s just that I’m stuck at work right now, so unfortunately, I won’t be able to update this thing. Ah, see how I did that: I’m writing from the future! (more…)

Posted under Assumptive Blogging,Coaching,Lovie Smith,Nostradamus-esque,Ron Turner

Bears vs. Vikings Preview and Game Thread

by Gavin Tugana on Monday 28 December 2009 at 8:00 am

Sorry to disappoint, ladies and gents, but the Bears have as good of a chance at winning as that bear does as getting down alive. I’m not going to be drawn-out or overdramatic about the game, because we all know what the end result will be. This preview will be short and sweet: (more…)

Posted under Assumptive Blogging,Brad Childress Is Gay?,OK the Bears aren't good,Open Thread?,game preview

Bill Cowher As Ditka’s Nephew

by Matt Phillip on Wednesday 18 November 2009 at 7:45 pm

bill-cowherI, for one, am a bit tired of Lovie “Rex Jay is our quarterback” Smith. I believe after our Super Bowl run, Smith has allowed this team to horrifically underachieve. While he should not shoulder all of the blame (calling Mr. Angelo), he should deservedly shoulder some of it. From his confusing personel moves (tell me again why Ron Rivera still isn’t here), to his ‘aw shucks’ demeanor, there needs to be changes up at Halas Hall. I can’t be the only one who sees Lovie as a darker Dick Jauron. (more…)

Posted under Assumptive Blogging,Lovie Smith,Please God make this happen,dick jauron

Nathan Vasher’s Mom Loves Her Baby, Our Little Blog (Update)

by Shea Johnson on Monday 16 November 2009 at 3:20 pm

Clearly, we believe that we produce the best Chicago Bears content online. Period. We wouldn’t be doing this if we didn’t. But that doesn’t mean that we don’t read other sites or appreciate intelligent feedback from anyone with a pulse other Bears fans/sports fans in general. So try to imagine our glee when we seemingly received contact from Nathan Vasher’s mother, not once, but twice. (more…)

Posted under Assumptive Blogging,Parents Of Famous People,nathan vasher,rumor

Wale And AB Reemerge To Tag Team Opposing Signal Callers

by Matt Phillip on Wednesday 23 September 2009 at 8:30 am

It’s extremely refreshing to see that through the first two games our front four are doing something that has been absent since the second half of the 2006 season: pressuring the quarterback. While Tommie Harris has been essentially invisible, Alex Brown and ‘Wale Ogunleye have been absolute beasts in each of the first two games. They have both had two sacks respectively in the game and, in general, have created havoc in the Packers and Steelers backfields. A very good sign with the defense expected to be down a man all year. (more…)

Posted under Adewale Ogunleye,Assumptive Blogging,alex brown,seattle seahawks

Bears Already Have Some Bulletin Board Material

by Matt Phillip on Thursday 10 September 2009 at 12:00 pm

Brett Favre Go BearsSo, the papers in Milwaukee have already started the mudslinging that will no doubt reach fever pitch by Sunday night.  Oh No they didn’t!! (wags index finger) Oh yes they did. Of course they have to toot their own horn for the offense looking like a juggernaut during the preseason. Lets look at their preseason opponents shall we? Cleveland, Buffalo, Arizona, Tennessee. Only one of those games is worth noting: Tennessee, as they are the only team that has a defense to speak of. It’s also worth noting that it was the last preseason game in which Aaron Rodgers & Co. played for only a few minutes. Feel free to look at the stats here. (more…)

Posted under Assumptive Blogging,green bay packers,i have the utmost hated for all things green bay,lazy trash talking,matt phillip,nathan vasher

Hester Reminds The NFL Of 2006…And It Feels So Good

by Matt Phillip on Tuesday 1 September 2009 at 8:45 am

Any other Bears fans amped that Hester showed shades of his 2006 form in Denver this past weekend? It wasn’t any of this catch the ball, then run backwards five yards. No, it was catch the ball, make a decision, stick with it, and dust ten of the eleven opponents on the field. I have to say, I got a raging semi from watching that 54 yarder. (more…)

Posted under Assumptive Blogging,Don't Call It A Comeback,Jay Cutler,devin hester,matt phillip

To Avoid Throwing Up, Have Somebody Read This To You

by Shea Johnson on Friday 21 August 2009 at 10:14 pm

The last post of the week: something to ponder as you await the certain couch slouch and booze binge of this weekend.

Obviously, the big news of the week is Brett Favre’s totally not surprising return to pro football and signing with Minnesota. Just when Tavaris Jackson thought it was safe, Favre decides to ruin all of our lives and make everything about him once again.

The scary thing, I guess, is that it could happen to anyone. Yes, folks, Favre could happen even to you! So, fans of the Dolphins, 49ers, Seahawks, Raiders, or every other team for that matter … tread lightly. One day, you’re content with your okay quarterback and the next, Favre is on a private leer jet from Hattiesburg on his way to your city, on the verge of explaining why your team “was the perfect fit” and why your mother deserves to be happy, too.

Picture courtesy of Chicago Tribune. We originally ran it here.

Posted under Assumptive Blogging,Friday Night Final,Reasons Bears fans should be scared,brett favre

Bears Eyeing An ‘Austin-To-Chicago Pipeline’

by Matt Phillip on Thursday 2 July 2009 at 1:45 pm

….or they should. Call me crazy but as recently as a few years back it seemed like every fourth player on the Bears roster was from Oklahoma (Tommie Harris, Marc Bradley, Dusty Dvoracek, J.D. Runnels and now Juaquin Iglesias). Along with those Sooners, the Bears have tapped into perennial SEC doormat Vanderbilt in the past two drafts (Earl Bennett, Chris Williams, D.J. Moore). We’re not including Cutler here because Denver had the privilege of drafting him.
Looking at what the Bears needs will be starting this year, and looking into the very near future, starting a draft pipeline via Texas makes the most sense to me. (more…)

Posted under Assumptive Blogging,Crazy Talk,I have no authority whatsoever on this subject,draftdraftdraft,matt phillip

The Bears Secondary Wants You!

by Matt Phillip on Thursday 25 June 2009 at 7:00 pm

Well not really, but it would appear that they should just start holding tryouts in the Chicago area. I mean I ‘played’ safety freshman year of high school, why not give me a shot? With the ‘talent’ we are currently throwing out there we might as well start handing out tryout flyers. (more…)

Posted under Assumptive Blogging,bad athletes,corey graham
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