Of the two men in the photograph, one is the owner of eleven identical denim jackets and has seen Tommy Boy 242 times. In 2008.
The other, however, was just busted for violation of the NFL’s policy on anabolic steroids and related substances and is unable to participate in the next four games.
Guard Terrence Metcalf thus becomes the first person in recorded history to be diagnosed with steroid immunity. (more…)
What more could an 0-4 team want to jumpstart their season than an underachieving recluse with a penchant for alcohol and Sun Chips?
Today, the Cincinnati Bengals furthered the already laughable image of their organization by adding Cedric Benson to their payroll.
Benson was ostensibly cut by the Bears in June after his second alcohol-related arrest, but we all know the real reason was because he sucked. Hard. (more…)
Ok. So the news doesn’t quite deserve the poignancy of the Martin Luther King speech, but former Bears running back Cedric Benson will not be indicted for his two separate alcohol-related arrests earlier in the year.
In May, Benson was arrested for boating while intoxicated in Lake Travis, Texas; an incident made more famous for the alleged abuse by the cops and Benson’s cry-heard-’round-the-world for his mama.
A month later, Benson got pulled over while driving in Austin, Texas after he ran a red light. Police determined Benson to be drunk and two days later, the Bears determined him to be an ex-employee. (more…)
Wide receiver Mark Bradley is no longer a member of the Chicago Bears. Not by choice of course. The Bears waived him on Tuesday to make room for rookie cornerback Marcus Hamilton — a seventh-round pick by of all teams, the Tampa Bay Bucs. Alright.
What’s really messed up is Bradley’s not even Rashied Davis.
With the move, Kyle Orton remains the gem of the 2005 Bears draft class and the only member still with the team. Is the 2005 class going down in history as one of the worst ever or what?
Depending on whose version of events you believe, Bucs tackle Jeremy Trueblood either acted like a dick, or was grabbed near his during overtime of the Bears 27-24 loss on Sunday.
Trueblood was visibly atop Bears defensive end Adewale Ogunleye, throwing elbows to his head, immediately after a third-down play turned up unsuccessful for the Bucs midway through OT.
The obvious infraction went uncalled, but led to a skirmish that resulted in a shoving match between Charles Tillman and Bucs wide receiver Michael Clayton. Tillman was subsenquently, and unfairly, called for unecessary roughness, giving the Bucs new life and eventually the game. (more…)
If being out for the entire season with ligament damage in his left ankle wasn’t bad enough, the league has fined safety Brandon McGowan $5,000 for a late hit which occured during last Sunday’s loss at Carolina.
McGowan had began the season as a starter before losing his job to the next big thing, Kevin Payne, after one game.
It’s McGowan’s last year under contract, but the Bears showed in the case of Mike Brown, they’ll stick behind their oft-injured safeties. If they’re good.
Now that’s what I call adding insult to injury [applause].
First, allow me to defend myself. This is an Adam Archuleta-related post. And the picture accompanying said post is of someone related to Archuleta. (It’s his wife, playmate Jennifer Walcott). Hence, this picture is entirely appropriate given the explanation. See kids, if you think things through, you can lie to yourself and never come to realize how big of an asshole you really are.
It really goes to show that all you need are a few one successful seasons in any professional sport under your belt, and you can land a Jennifer Walcott. Archuleta, who spent the majority of his career in St. Louis and has since undergone brief stints in Washington and Chicago, knows this all too well.
So, to be honest, he probably doesn’t give a flying shit that he has just been cut by the Oakland Raiders. (more…)
