Why Your Team Sucks” is a new feature that will merely be an excuse to talk shit about the rest of the conference. Yeah, this will make us a lot of friends.

Why They Suck: Let’s look at recent history: 7-9, 2-14, 4-12, 7-9, 5-11, 7-9. Since 2003, that is what the people of San Fran have gotten out of their beloved 49ers. That sucks worse than your grandmother. Excluding their current coach (more on that later), their past two coaches have gone 9-27, and 18-37. Scary. Did I mention Alex Smith yet? Well, when your number one overall draft pick from 2005 is projected to backup Shaun Hill???? FAIL!!! (lolz) (more…)

Presenting an interesting and new statistic from Football Outsiders: the forced drop. Contrary to what it sounds like, it occurs when a receiver drops a ball without contention from the primary defender. And guess who “forced” the most drops in 2009?

“Based on film breakdowns of the 2008 season, more NFL receivers dropped passes when Tillman was the primary defender than any other cornerback in the league. Of the 113 passes thrown in his direction, 10 were dropped.” (more…)

Leave it to Lovie Smith to compare the incarcerations of Michael Vick and Martha Stewart. More so, he does it with the same easygoing demeanor that makes you wonder if he isn’t really in a coma.

For the record, I’m against Vick ever playing pro football again, let alone, for the Bears. In fact, I might prefer to resort to watching the UFL , or electrocuting my testicles.

Two days after we dared to wonder why Brandon Lloyd was still inactive, and would be ballsy (or unballsy) enough to say he’s waiting to be 100 percent, the Sun-Times is putting it out there: the Bears coaching staff is displeased with Lloyd’s lengthy recovery.

Depending on how much stock you put into the word on the street, Lloyd was ready to play last Sunday versus Tennessee, but instead, was sat by the team as punishment for possessing the pain tolerance of a Laguna Beach actor cast member. (more…)

Yeah, he’s 32. But the brotha’s still got it.