And this is where you finish the sentence. I’m well aware of the extreme “mootness” of the point, but it literally took me this long just to be ready for the healthy, inevitable “what went wrong” retrospection, so I’ll keep it short. You see, for the last two weeks, I’ve been futilely searching the Interwebs for the Bears first-week playoff match up. (more…)

When you stumble into a neighborhood bar at 3 a.m., there is probably a laundry list of things you wish to see: available seats, cheap drink specials and a still-open kitchen would certainly be among those things, right? But, how about a giant-sized, full-wall mural of Chicagoish sports icons, featuring Brian Urlacher holding a flaunting Rex Grossman ever-so-closely while a very satisfied Brett Favre looks on? No … no, I bet you didn’t think of that!

(Update) Linked on Deadspin. Welcome, all Deadspin readers. Come because you were coerced, stay because you like semi-professional football teams.

So, Brian Urlacher said some things on Monday. Clearly, it was all said out of frustration. Naturally, everyone was appalled. Apparently, Warren Sapp thinks Urlacher should shut up. Obviously, David Haugh believes that it’s no way for a team captain to act. And … wait, what the hell did he even say, again? (more…)

Brian Urlacher watched the debacle up in Minneapolis with his brother and some hotties and made some very interesting comments regarding the Bears season and current situation. Feel free to read the excellent article here. It’s interesting to note that while his teammates are out there getting bent over by Brett Favre…AGAIN, #54 is crawling around his brother’s condo and flashing his pink cast around (ZOMG!). (more…)

Second game: much better result. Matt Forte looked every bit of the “fantasy stud” he’s been anointed, carrying nine times for 58 yards and one seemingly effortless touchdown. One of the other team’s running backs did quite well, too … running through Brian Urlacher more than just once; which, understandably, is codeword for twice. (more…)

If you’re going to step on Brian Urlacher’s shoe, be prepared to be promptly asked to take it outside. However, if you’re surprisingly cordial about the whole thing… and a very talented MMA fighter, be prepared to be unremittingly forgiven. Our friend Zoner Sports has video of Bas Rutten recalling the 2006 incident that almost cost us are middle linebacker.

Surely, Vikings receiver Bobby Wade had the bestest intentions–not like he wants to create rifts within a scary division opponent or anything–as he told KFAN in Minnesota that his former teammate thinks said former teammate’s new teammate is a “pussy”. Talk about the kettle saying Urlacher called the pot black!

UPDATE: Urlacher, not surprisingly, is denying it; Tommie Harris has taken to Twitter to defend him. Trust me, you haven’t heard the last of this; I have a stirring suspicion that things are about to get a lot more… stupid.

The University of New Mexico has named their football practice facility after the legendary former Lobo Brian Urlacher, shown here just pre-STD. The decision to appropriately christen Brian Urlacher Field was spurred by “Urlacher’s accomplishments and a recent $500,000 gift to the school.”

Presumably, Urlacher outbid fellow alum Neil Patrick Harris, who could only come up with $500, for naming rights.

Newly-acquired Bears linebacker Pisa Tinoisamoa sure is glad to be a part of a winning team for a change. But, he seems most excited about working with the legendary, Brian Urlacher.

“When I came to my visit he said [hello] to me and he knew my name, I was like, ‘Wow, that’s Brian Urlacher. He called me by my first name.”

Tinoisamoa went on to say that Urlacher signed his jersey after practice and recorded the outgoing message on his cell.

Whoa, whoa, wait a minute; Hold the phone. Brian Urlacher, who has often unwarrantably been linked with the term “overrated” while in his prime, is now being called the best inside linebacker in pro football. It’s important to note that his prime was two years ago.

The Sporting News has Urlacher ranked numero uno in their list of the top 20 NFL inside linebackers, citing the lackluster play of the defensive line last season as to why he made fewer impact plays than usual. True, but I also don’t recall him being engulfed by the opponent’s O-line as much as I do his inability to run sideline to sideline with his previous effectiveness. (more…)

If you stayed ’til the very end of the Cavs-Hawks obliteration last night, you might have seen LeBron James walk to half court and hand his game-worn sneakers–gross!–to an all-too-welcoming and brawny bald guy.

But that wasn’t just any bald guy, that was Brian Urlacher. He’s just another in a growing list of Bears who can’t get enough of the league MVP.

Photo: NFL Juice

It started when Julia Allison tweeted of Jay Cutler’s partiality to her headband, and now, we get another scoop courtesy of the still far-too-underutilized, Twitter: Brian Urlacher likes his Chile Con Queso.