See what I’ve done here? Using the title as a channel, I’ve insinuated officials have feathers. As do Falcons. Wait. A. Minute.

No, no, no. I refuse to suggest officials in Sunday’s game at Atlanta were working in conjuction with the Falcons. I only scribed the above introduction because A) I am still extremely bitter and B) I noticed how the title might be indicative of an unintended point and if said point was intended – well, then I would be deemed as having wit.

If neither of this make sense to you or you frankly do not give a shit, continue after the jump to read the story you very damned well thought you would be done reading by now. (more…)

Raise your hand if you saw that coming. Oh, you did? Well, either you’re a freakin’ psychic or a big liar McLiar pants.

Rookie running back Matt Forte proved he isn’t Cedric Benson and quarterback Kyle Orton showed off his aerodynamically engineered mustache as the Bears upped the Colts 29-13 at Lucas Oil Stadium.

Impressive in his pro debut, Forte ran for 123 yards on 23 carries, including a 50-yard scamper to the endzone midway through the first quarter.

Orton played more than just adequately even if his stats (13-21, 150, 0-0) don’t reflect it. He made throws I thought only Good Rex could make and even showed some wiggle in his scramble, spinning out of linebacker Gary Brackett’s would-be tackle. He didn’t say it but you know his neckbeard was thinking, “You ain’t got shit on me, beeeeeeeyotch!” (more…)