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Crime | Blog Down, Chicago Bears

Drunk Lions fan calls on Barry Sanders-like jukes

by Orton's Lazy Eye on Wednesday 8 October 2008 at 6:51 pm

 With a grace and poise not seen since Ice Skates O’Malley.

BallHype: hype it up! Add to RootZoo Posted under Stupid Fans, crime

Free at last! Thank God Almighty, I’m free at last!

by Orton's Lazy Eye on Saturday 27 September 2008 at 9:14 pm

Ok. So the news doesn’t quite deserve the poignancy of the Martin Luther King speech, but former Bears running back Cedric Benson will not be indicted for his two separate alcohol-related arrests earlier in the year.

In May, Benson was arrested for boating while intoxicated in Lake Travis, Texas; an incident made more famous for the alleged abuse by the cops and Benson’s cry-heard-’round-the-world for his mama.

A month later, Benson got pulled over while driving in Austin, Texas after he ran a red light. Police determined Benson to be drunk and two days later, the Bears determined him to be an ex-employee. (more…)

BallHype: hype it up! Add to RootZoo Posted under bad athletes, cedric benson, crime

Moose thinks Chicago has a high receiver mortality rate

by Orton's Lazy Eye on Monday 18 August 2008 at 9:09 pm

Thank you, Muhsin Muhammad. We enjoyed your hands-of-brick, too.

Speaking to SI’s Peter King about his three-year stint with the Bears, current Carolina Panthers’ wide receiver, Muhsin Muhammad, said, “That’s right. It’s where receivers go to die.

And to think, all this time I thought the mind-frenzying hysteria induced by a coke binge was the place all receivers went to die.

BallHype: hype it up! Add to RootZoo Posted under crime, offseason

Visual proof that there are some sick people in this world

by Orton's Lazy Eye on Friday 18 July 2008 at 10:19 am

David Haugh of the Chicago Tribune thinks Favre should be a Bear.

You may not see a more disturbing image in your lifetime.

BallHype: hype it up! Add to RootZoo Posted under crime

Benson’s close to done in Chicago

by Orton's Lazy Eye on Saturday 7 June 2008 at 5:49 pm

Cedric Benson’s two recent alcohol-related arrests undeniably aren’t sitting well with Bears sober general manager Jerry Angelo. From Chicago, responding to news of Benson’s latest lapse, Angelo told reporters among other things: ”The No. 1 lesson for every player is protect your job. We’re all held accountable for our actions.”

The key word from Angelo’s comments seems to be “lesson,” as in, “make an example of someone.” With that said, Benson’s days in Chicago could be numbered. Bears management has already shown in the case of Tank Johnson, that they aren’t afraid to take action when they feel it is necessary.

In April, the Bears drafted Matt Forte in the second round to hopefully push Benson. Now it seems as if Benson is pushing himself right out of the Bears’ plans.

 

 

BallHype: hype it up! Add to RootZoo Posted under crime, offseason