If only because: this is the third anniversary of one of the most depressing days of my young life, the offseason thus far has been unconvincing, and the decline of the Bears since the 2006 season has been so abrupt, I’m pretty excited to hear today that Devin Hester “would love to get back in that situation with the return game.” (more…)

And we’re gleeful, indeed. We’ve been praying for a second opportunity to show this picture, and knew it would come one way or another. Sadly, it’s because Malast was just added to the practice squad, and not because he finally came clean about that one time at Rutgers when he impregnated the daughter of an angry witch doctor his head was shrunken through some, no doubt, hilarious means.

Wow: In your-ex-girlfriend-just-started-seeing-that-asshole-with-rich-folks news, Kansas City Chiefs safety Mike Brown intercepted two passes versus Oakland today — including the game clincher on Oakland’s final drive. And you thought it was bad enough that, through nine games, he has yet to go out for the season!

Clearly, the most rewarding part of penning a post entitled “The Rise And Fall Of Nate Vasher” would be seeing resiliency rewarded. And with that: just when you thought it was safe to write off Vasher for good … yes! yes! … well, he doesn’t suck as a free safety. No, no, that’s a really good thing! (more…)

It isn’t so much his role in the underachieving three-year stint he spent in Chicago that Cedric Benson chooses to focus on. Nope, instead it’s what everyone else did to purposely ruin his life. You know, like take Thomas Jones’ side on everything! Now, with the third-most rushing yards in the NFL, Benson finally feels okay to admit that the Bears weren’t necessarily the ideal work reference. (more…)

Any other Bears fans amped that Hester showed shades of his 2006 form in Denver this past weekend? It wasn’t any of this catch the ball, then run backwards five yards. No, it was catch the ball, make a decision, stick with it, and dust ten of the eleven opponents on the field. I have to say, I got a raging semi from watching that 54 yarder. (more…)

Five years ago, Nathan Vasher’s career with the Chicago Bears seemed bright and unbounded. He was a recent fourth-round draft pick, many considered him a steal, and even more were infatuated with the video making rounds on YouTube featuring him blowing up an oblivious Carlos Francis. So, how does it get to the point where a mere five years later, anticipation is no longer forming in regard to his star potential, but instead, for his final days with the club in which it all started? (more…)

The Kansas City Chiefs recently worked out two free agent wide receivers: David Terrell (!) being one of them. And while they went with the other, Amani Toomer, the luxury to pick and choose between two high-caliber options says a lot about the state of the Chiefs, currently the favorites to win the 2002 Super Bowl. Also, that Mike Vick seems like a nice man.

Hey, ladies and gentleman! Guess which former collar bone-deficient Detroit Lion’s name is resurfacing? If you said Charles Rogers, take yourself a Vicodin and pat yourself on the back… just not too hard. Collarbone, remember? (more…)

Hey all, I’ll be taking over for Shea for a few days while he ends his life by having his girlfriend move in with him, goes to sunny CA to visit his home boys and girls.

The offseason is brutal enough for us Bears fans. We have to suffer through the “Wait ‘til next year” refrain from Cubs fans, and the perpetual ineptitude of the Bulls. (Yes the Blackhawks were good this year but now that their season is done, I’m sure that 0.5% of the city cares) As if that wasn’t enough, for the past three off-seasons we’ve had to deal with the fucking Brett Favre saga. (more…)

So Peter Warrick–remember him? After tearing up the ACC and college football in general while at Florida St, Warrick got drafted by Cincinnati number four overall in 2000. He had a nice year in ‘03 but got injured and missed most of ’04, and after one season with Seattle he was shipped to the red-headed stepchild of the NFL, the CFL (Cue blood-curdling screams). Why should you care, dear reader? Well, now Mr. Warrick wants to play for the Bears. (more…)

Former Bears safety Adam Archuleta was drafted by the UFL’s Las Vegas franchise in the UFL “Premiere” Season Draft and thus, will likely be en route to Sin City. You know what that means, don’t you: Playmate wife, Las Vegas, penchant for taking off her clothes. No?