The last post of the week; something to ponder as you await the certain couch slouch and booze binge of the weekend.

This is the hideous thing members of the Green Bay Packers will put over their shoulder pads for select games next season. It’s apparently a throwback jersey from 1929, but all I see is a big circle for Julius Peppers to put his head through. (more…)

In 1999, then-Saints head coach, Mike Ditka, and general manager, Bill Kuharich, did what we’ve all done: trade away an entire draft, and then some, for the draft rights to one player. Except, when we do it, it’s on Madden. Either way, 11 years later, Da Coach still isn’t wavering on his decision. (more…)

The eighties megagroup, The Shufflin’ Crew, have reunited to pathetically hawk Boost Mobile phones in a 30-second commercial airing during the first quarter of the Super Bowl. Said coach Ditka (who will be appearing!): “This town has been great. They always support their teams, but when you win here, they love you for life. Until they win again, it’s pretty easy money around here.”

♫ Kool & The Gang’s “Celebration” ♪

“Hey there! What’s going on? Come on in; glad you could make it! There’s drinks near the back and food right over there. Yeah, I know, right? What’s that? … I still couldn’t hear you. Oh! Who’s that? On the floor? That’s Matt, he writes for the blog. What? … Oh, is he okay? I don’t know, let me see: Matt! MATT! MAAAATTTTT! Are you alright?!”

Matt: “*Gurgle* It’s my fucking heart. It’s blowed up, I think. God damn Urlacher jersey and my blowed-up heart! … GO. HAWK. EYYYYYYES!! AHHHHHGGGG!! …”

/loses consciousness, dies?

“Yeah, he’s fine, see? You gotta try the corndogs!” (more…)

No one likes to remember that fateful day in November 1986 when Packers defensive tackle Charles Martin (RIP), unnecessarily and late, slammed Bears quarterback Jim McMahon to the hard artificial turf, ending his season and effectively putting quite the damper on any hopes of a repeat championship … But, apparently everyone does want to see the video. (more…)

Since Jim McMahon, men who have played quarterback while simultaneously donning a Chicago Bears uniform have (mostly) sucked. You can outright fault the organization or pacifyingly fault the organization, but no matter what, nothing can save these 27 poor souls from an unenvious shared history; having been through, what many believe to be, “quarterback hell”. (more…)

The Bears-Packers rivalry goes back 40 million years, well before Ditka rose from the dead — it’s true — and will resume this Sunday at Soldier Field. With all the time that has passed, so too undoubtedly, have many memories; some great and others not so great. What better a time than now to share your favorite or most memorable moments in the longstanding Bears-FudgePackers rivalry? But first, here’s one of mine: (more…)

Since Jim McMahon, men who have played quarterback while simultaneously donning a Chicago Bears uniform have (mostly) sucked. You can outright fault the organization or pacifyingly fault the organization, but no matter what, nothing can save these 27 poor souls from an unenvious shared history; having been through, what many believe to be, “quarterback hell”. (more…)

Since Jim McMahon, men who have played quarterback while simultaneously donning a Chicago Bears uniform have (mostly) sucked. You can outright fault the organization or pacifyingly fault the organization, but no matter what, nothing can save these 27 poor souls from an unenvious shared history; having been through, what many believe to be, “quarterback hell”. (more…)

Remember all those highly-gifted football players that, at one time or another, were on a Bears roster, only to be plagued with stupid reoccurring injuries and never be heard from again? Well, it turns out that not only are most alive and well, but some are actually living up to expectations! … Elsewhere.

With the biggest Bears news of the day being terribly depressing, let’s try and focus on more happy times. Feel free to put your favorite Bears memories in the comments; FIRST, you get to hear and read mine. (more…)

Fellow former Bears, and enormous disappointments, Cade McNown and Curtis Enis are back at the forefront of ire for anyone who had to watch them play in the NFL.

Starting today, one can materialize their distaste for absolute horrid draft picks, and vote in the Worst Man Drafted Tournament hosted by NFLMocks.com.

Our new-found friends — and first-round losers to us in the Best Sports Blog Name tourney — Bear Goggles On, devised this incredible plan, allowing for these two losers — and 62 others — to once more, feel the painful sting of failure.