Unlike this year’s Madden 2011 game, Matt Forte 2010 returns with our favorite feature…turbo boost. So while it is now harder to attain massive amounts of yards in virtual reality, Fortual Reality promises to provide us with a lot more Ohh’s and Ahh’s than, say, any semblence of the ’09 season. At least we know if football fails him, Forte looks quite capable as a showtunes dancer. Now THOSE are spirit fingers.

This year’s Maddenized version of the Bears is awfully shitty. Within 30 seconds of its release, I had already decided on the name of my create-a-team that would replace the Bears in the NFC North. By the way, it’s the Portland Pink Gators. (more…)

Just-released individual Madden ’11 ratings for the Chicago Bears indicate one, glaring belief: The Bears are essentially a cupcake create-a-team. Thoughts? My own, once I escape from work.

Thanks to OperationSports.com and the nifty idea of bringing a video-taping device to Madden test-screenings, we now know who the will be the top 10 players at each position in Madden NFL 11. (more…)

Madden ratings: they do more than just maintain order in this sometimes crazy, mixed up hierarchical NFL. They give us all another reason to be really immature. “Dude, have you seen Hester’s awareness rating? He is SO gonna make Al Harris ball up into the fetal position!!” For that, I can’t wait another week or whenever it is that the actual ratings will become public. (more…)

Here is the deal: We don’t have time, nor always the will, to make a post out of every semi-significant Bears-related tidbit that hits the InterWeb. But, to satisfy you readers and make sure that we keep on top of everything, we’re bringing you short and precise annotated Bears highlights every Monday and Thursday. This is our link-dumpish effort. (more…)

There’s arguably worse ways to start an era. He could have displayed poor decision making, exhibited mechanics that would make you think Rex Grossman should have his own video teaching series, or even blamed one of his own receivers for a self-inflicted interception. But no, Jay Cutler did none of these things. Okay, okay: he did all of them. (more…)

NFLSportsChannel.com has the final ratings and boy, do they stink. Forte is a nice semi-surprise (89), Cutler (87) is about as expected, but so many others are mightily disappointing, including Corey Graham (60), Charles Tillman (82), Caleb Hanie (45) and Brad Maynard (77).

Don’t worry, los niños–right guard Robert Garza’s starting job appears to be safe.

The Madden ’09 En Español cover athlete was expected to face heavy competition after a seemingly pedestrian performance in 2008. The only problem is… the Bears didn’t really see it fit to bring in any.

Of the only three other legitimate guards on the roster, Frank Omiyale and Josh Beekman are contending for the right to squat between Orlando Pace and Olin Kreutz on the left side, and Dan Buenning is, well, Dan Buenning.

ESPN has the Madden 2010 ratings for the top 10 at quarterback, running back, wide receiver, tight end and defense. Not surprisingly, Jay Cutler was the only Bear to make the list; tied for eighth with Carson Palmer and Tony Romo at 87 overall.

It looks as if Bears right guard, Roberto Garza, will brave the curse and don the cover of this year’s special, Spanish edition of Madden: Madden ’09 En Espanol. According to IGN, the game features “exclusive Spanish language content, including additional music tracks, and Spanish play-by-play and game analysis voice-over.”

FIELD GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAL ES GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Madden ’09 En Espanol is set to be released on Sept. 16. Ironically, that’s just nine days after the regular season opener, and just five days before the entire Bears offensive line should be expected to collectively blow out their knee sockets.

Good luck on trying to convince Donnie Edwards — or better yet, Ron Mexico — to appear on the 2010 cover, EA.

And no — suprisingly, they don’t make the playoffs.

Apparently, in the simulation, a preseason injury to Devin Hester sidelines the All-Pro for the entire regular season and is key to the Bears’ struggles.

HA! Who are we kidding? 1-15 doesn’t imply struggling. It means Caleb Hanie was out there throwing to Brandon Rideau on fourth and long. It means every single player on the D-line suffered career-ending injuries — with the exception of Dusty Dvoracek — and the Bears were forced to scrape the bottom of the free-agent barrel for the likes of Darrion Scott and Courtney Brown.

Now, simulating an entire Madden season is usually a pretty good indication of where every team stands. Not once have I simulated a season and witnessed a team like — sorry David Carr diehards — the Texans making the playoffs, let alone winning the Super Bowl. So, it looks as if in this year’s Madden, it’ll take alot of talent and pure bravado to overcome the Bears’ shortcomings — something that me and my All-Pro difficulty-playing ass is prepared to do.

By the way, IGN’s simulation has the Cowboys defeating the Patriots in Super Bowl XLIII, 25-22.