The last post of the week; something to ponder as you await the certain couch slouch and booze binge of the weekend.

When our senior writer, Matt Phillip — shown here, having his back summarily broken — decided to continue a series we began last year; a series declaring, one-by-one, every team not the Bears to be complete shit, I was all for it. At the same time, I knew there would be fans of said other teams who would not understand why this was humorous. (more…)

Schadenfreude, formerly Why Your Team Sucks, is a bi-weekly (hopefully) posting about the unfortunate moments and embarrassments of all NFL teams NOT named the Chicago Bears. As we already trudged through the waste of the NFC we are doing the AFC. Your comments, venom and hate-mail are encouraged and appreciated. (more…)

Yes, we’ve got a coach who seems to care as much about his team’s success as I care about personal hygiene; we’ve got ownership who seems stuck in the pre-Super Bowl NFL; and no matter how much we beg and plead, we can’t convince other coaches to come and work for us. But, even with those things working against us, the Bears still aren’t one of the bottom-feeding franchises in the league…yet. So, until we are, let’s take a look at those teams, point out their flaws, and start feeling better about ourselves! (more…)

As if this was a surprise: the Bears are having a bit of trouble getting candidates for the OC position. Let’s be honest here: you are asking someone to come coach a team that has a decrepit offensive line, thus no pass protection or running game, a bunch of third-tier receivers (AS OF NOW…yes, we will give it time like we have for the last four years; Hester is this close to being a legit #1!) and ownership that seems about as willing to change as Harry Reid is to resigning from his current office. BUT WE’VE GOT JAY CUTLER!!!!!!!!!! (more…)

Why Your Team Sucks” is a new feature that will merely be an excuse to talk shit about the rest of the conference. Yeah, this will make us a lot of friends.

Why They Suck: Thanks to last years Lions, they are now one of two teams to have a winless season. As most folks know, when Tampa Bay entered the NFL (playing in the AFC West, WTF???) in 1976, they proceeded to unleash a bagful of suck and go 0-14. If that wasn’t bad enough, the following season they went on to lose the first 12 games of the season, putting the franchise in an 0-26 hole to start off with. In the span of those 26 games, they lost by a touchdown or less three times. Maybe that’s because they were outscored (gasp!) 412-125. Good GOD! (more…)

To think, I rooted for the Raiders on Monday night as they were having their asses handed to them on an orange and blue platter by the surprising Broncos.

How come the shitty teams always get the perks? Well, you know, besides the thrill of victory.

Thanks to waiver rules, any player with less than four years of NFL experience who is released by another team will be essentially put up for grabs with first dibs determined by a team’s previous year’s win-loss record. (more…)