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Why Your Team Sucks: Atlanta Falcons

by Matt Phillip on Tuesday 11 August 2009 at 12:00 pm

Why Your Team Sucks” is a new feature that will merely be an excuse to talk shit about the rest of the conference. Yeah, this will make us a lot of friends.

Why They Suck: The Falcons reached their first and only Super Bowl in 1998 as ‘dogs to the Denver Broncos. You’d think all the Falcons players would be uber focused on winning this game, especially after they pulled off an improbable upset of the Vikings two weeks before in Minneapolis. Eugene Robinson apparently didn’t think so, and decided he needed a quick BJ the night before the game. Oops. Looks like $40 for oral gets you a night in jail when you give it to an undercover cop. High five! Robinson was allowed to play the game but the Falcons lost 34-19. Maybe he DID need that BJ afterall. (more…)

734 views Posted under Why Your Team Sucks, atlanta falcons, matt phillip, prostitution, sex, super bowl

The Bears Are The New Cowboys

by Matt Phillip on Friday 31 July 2009 at 1:00 pm

The last post of the week: something to ponder as you await the certain couch slouch and booze binge of this weekend.

Yeah, you read that right. According to these guys, our Bears have supplanted the ‘Boys as the NFL’s newest soap opera. Based on………Bobby ‘mexi-stache’ Wade’s claim that Urlacher told Lovie Smith who told Angelina who told Adrian Peterson who told Wade that Cutler was something similar to a cat?? A stretch? Why yes, I do think so!

Is the off-season that slow that this is the top story around the league?? I’m sure there are more compelling stories like the start of training camps, or the death of former Eagles defensive coordinator Jim Johnson, or T.O.’s new ‘reality’ show. I’m guessing this story goes away once Urlacher makes Roethlisberger eat grass come Week 2 and Cutler throws for 3 TD’s (pipe dream). (more…)

487 views Posted under Friday Night Final, Oh Jerry Angelo, STD, dallas cowboys, jerry angelo, matt phillip, prostitution

So, Jay Cutler Likes The Chicago Ladies

by Shea Johnson on Sunday 17 May 2009 at 8:00 pm

The Bears held their annual fan expo earlier today, part of which included a fan Q & A session. Jay Cutler proceeded to steal the show. Julia Allison is so not stoked.

Maria Sanchez, 28, of Chicago asked Jay Cutler about his overall impression of the women in Chicago. His response? “Good city, good women. I’m single, so I could get into a little trouble here.”

(more…)

7,732 views Posted under Not football, Party Time, The Last Jay Cutler Post I Will Ever Write, prostitution

The good, the bad, and the ugly of Bears final roster cuts

by Shea Johnson on Sunday 31 August 2008 at 1:33 pm

The end of August not only signals the end of Summer, but also puts to rest any ludicrous fantasies that guys like Ryan Poles and Marcus Stone have of playing in the NFL. Ah, yes. Roster cuts. The Bears have trimmed their roster tree to 53 limbs, but not all the right pieces were chainsawed. You like the metaphor, eh?

The Good: Saying goodbye to second and third-round draft picks a year into their career is never easy. But, in this case, it was necessary. Kudos to Jerry Angelo for biting the bullet, acknowleging his inability to draft early rounds well, and doing away with oft-injured defensive end Dan Bazuin and linebacker Michael Okwo.

The Bad: They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. If so, that makes safety Leonard Peters a huge admirer of Troy Polamalu. Who can say if he’d ever copy his way of playing football talentedly, but he had the hair and Islander-like intensity down to a T. (more…)

1,388 views Posted under clint eastwood, nfl draft, prostitution, transaction

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