ESPN’s resident football scientist KC Joyner is up to his old, numbers-driven wizardry once again. And this time, instead of comparing Jay Cutler to Rex Grossman, he’s using meticulous game-film study to indicate what no one already knew: Roberto Garza is one of the best guards in the game.

Roberto Garza is hosting a series of free youth football camps in the Rio Grande Valley; his place of origination and arguably where he first cogitated the idea of driving a large amount of elderly to receive healthcare in just one seven-passenger van.

Garza speaks about the kids, of whom he was once one: “All they have to do is believe in themselves, dream big and they can accomplish anything.”

But, don’t forget your fucking vitamins, kids. Or Uncle Roberto will kill you.

Don’t worry, los niños–right guard Robert Garza’s starting job appears to be safe.

The Madden ‘09 En Español cover athlete was expected to face heavy competition after a seemingly pedestrian performance in 2008. The only problem is… the Bears didn’t really see it fit to bring in any.

Of the only three other legitimate guards on the roster, Frank Omiyale and Josh Beekman are contending for the right to squat between Orlando Pace and Olin Kreutz on the left side, and Dan Buenning is, well, Dan Buenning.