Urge To Panic Rising (Update)
Is it too early to panic yet? (I feel like ESPN when their beloved Yankees/Lakers/Cowboys/Giants/Jets lose the first game of the season.) I am starting to wonder if other fans are ready to hit the big red button. Apparently, I’m not alone (sort of). (more…)


In case the rare, make-it-or-break-it spending flurry of the last offseason had you asking yourself, “just how miserly could Jerry Angelo really be?”,
Fuck, is it still July? I could have sworn it must be at least August, by now. As we, as Bears fans, all anxiously await the return of “football season”, we as a Web site exclusively married to Bears chatter REALLY anxiously await the return of the football season.
Seriously. What is this? Since I’m too lazy and uncaring to investigate what is going on in this picture, I can only assume Lance Briggs is reading for the role of “Football Player # 2″ in Bridget Marquardt’s debut adult film…directed, of course, by that guy from Double Dare!
Madden ratings: they do more than just maintain order in this sometimes crazy, mixed up hierarchical NFL. They give us all another reason to be really immature. “Dude, have you seen Hester’s awareness rating? He is SO gonna make Al Harris ball up into the fetal position!!” For that, I can’t wait another week or whenever it is that the actual ratings will become public.
The Williams
We don’t normally do all this Top 10 stuff, but, occasionally on slow days like these, it’s warranted. So, please: read, comment, and forgive us — not for our lack of originality, per se, but, more so, for our inability to speed up the goddamned offseason.
Greg Olsen isn’t the only white Chicago Bear who likes to occasionally — how do you say? — “spit it on the mic.” Except, Timmy Shaw’s awkward, yet amiable — and possibly (impressively) freestyled — Penn State rally rap from 2006 would probably be enjoyed by soccer moms, everywhere.
Contacted byNBC employee. Told about poll on Jimmy Fallon’s Web site. Because, apparently “Jimmy wants to know which sports franchise has the most dedicated fans.”
Technically, Adewale Ogunelye is in limbo; not a member of the Bears, but nor has he been picked up by another team. That’s all the justification I need to explain why he dating rapper/singer Kelis is relevant. Oh, that and the fact that
We haven’t written in nearly a week, which isn’t like us, we know. But, it’s February and things are slow. So, here: New offensive coordinator Mike Martz says Devin Hester in the slot “
The last post of the week; something to ponder as you await the certain couch slouch and booze binge of the weekend.