Why Your Team Sucks” is a new feature that will merely be an excuse to talk shit about the rest of the conference. Yeah, this will make us a lot of friends.

Why They Suck: With an emphasis on selling the farm to acquire high-priced, typically over-valued free agents, the Washington Redskins have set the model for what any self-respecting franchise does not want to do. No, that isn’t win; it’s to think any amount of opulence can buy you football brains. (more…)

Long-beleaguered ex-Bears punter, Todd Sauerbrun, has been arrested again, this time on a warrant for failing to appear in court for a case stemming from a January 2008 DUI charge.

Sauerbrun is probably most famous for his altercation with a taxi cab driver, but to limit that December 2007 incident as his most glorious infraction wouldn’t be giving justice to the other, equally as boneheaded, episodes that have seemingly defined his 13-year pro career. (more…)

Let me preface this by saying, our first ever LiveTwitter of rounds one and two went extraordinarily well. It is just too bad, as I so eloquently wrote on Twitter as the last pick neared, that I chose to cover a full day of the draft in which the Bears took no part in.

My thoughts, originally, were just of the cock tease that was day one.  A) we didn’t draft a soul, and b) we failed to reel in Boldin. But thanks to what we did in rounds three through seven, I might just leave the forty-dollar tip on the nightstand after all.

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ESPN originally reported it, and now the Sun-Times is confirming it, tackle Orlando Pace and the Bears have agreed to terms.

The deal is expected to be for either two or three years. Pace will play left tackle, moving last year’s first-round pick, Chris Williams, to right.

The move, quite possibly, makes drafting a tackle this year in the early rounds unnecessary. Fittingly, the Bears gave away all their picks.

UPDATE: It’s a three-year deal according to the Bears’ official Web site.

Whether you liked him or loathed him, the point is mute.

It took Rex Grossman all but a handful of horrific performances and one memorable Super Bowl dud to play his way out of Chicago. He could surely refine his mechanics, regain his confidence and play well again; it’ll just be for some other team in some other city.

Nate Vasher, on the other hand, would be a surprise departure two years ago. The last two years have been hell for ‘The Interceptor’ as he’s played in only 12 games due to sporadic injuries to his groin, hand, thumb and shoulder.

Vasher, 27, has all the tools to still be a playmaker somewhere else; he’ll just need to stay healthy. His cap number for this year is somewhere around $2.9 million and letting him walk should free up cash to be better spent elsewhere. (more…)

Amidst reports that he has an itch to play again, Brett Favre takes time to partake in a reflection style interview for Sports Illustrated. Among things he discusses is the prospect of strapping up for the long-time rival Bears — a circumstance I’ve filed somewhere between over my dead body and when pigs fly.

Funny enough, current Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers — also a graphic arts intern with SI — handled cover artwork for the issue.

Now that Cedric Benson is unemployed and it’s uncertain whether or not he’ll play again this year, it might be time to think of alternative work for the former Longhorn.

Hence, my friends, I pose the following question: “Other than football, what profession could you see Cedric Benson embarking in?” Post your comments below.

Personally, I could envision Benson opening up his own roadside convenience store. Except, it wouldn’t have all the necessities or knick knacks you’d find at other general stores. No, Benson would only carry stuff he liked. I would even wager a first-round draft pick — preferably from 2005 — that a receipt from a visit might look something like this: (more…)

Spin on Sports, over at Sportsline.com, has been allowing fans to vote for the most fierce NFL mascot for the last month, now. It’s a great idea; executed in tournament bracket format and featuring the very best (and worst) of football’s true cheerleaders.

Recently, however, a colossal second-round upset has shocked the mascot world and forever changed the way we’ll view sweaty bastards wearing upholstery foam. Apparently, the Bears mascot, Staley Da Bear, is 16% less fierce than the failed Hulk Hogan/Owen Wilson genetic slapdash known as Viktor.
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Last night, I dreamt Nick Hill text-messaged me. Weird, right? 

In the dream, the former Saluki sent me some G-rated pictures – unlike last week; thanks, John McCain — but I really wasn’t sure why. Initially, I was taken aback that he even knew me and vice versa. After my dream evolved to Hill and I throwing the pigskin around, it became clear that I was good friends with a Chicago Bears quarterback. Niiiiiiiice.

Still, I think I’d rather be homies with Kyle Orton. Instead of sending me headshots and playing catch, he’d at least introduce me to vodka and hookers.

Per sports betting Web site Bodog, the Bears are listed with 40/1 odds of winning Super Bowl XLIII and labeled as a “middle of the pack” team. Other teams with similar odds include the Cincinnati Bengals (40/1), Denver Broncos (40/1), and Tampa Bay Buccaneers(35/1). Not terrible company by any means.

Of the three other NFC North division teams, only the Detroit Lions have worse odds, listed at 65/1. Once again, take that, Jon Kitna!

With 8/1 odds each, the Dallas Cowboys and San Diego Chargers are the favorites to be playing in Raymond James Stadium come February.

Our friend Matt over at The Nasty Boys Sports Blog has tagged us in a blogger’s game, thus signifying that we do exist.

Here are the conditions, as copied from Matt, himself:

The Rules:

• Write your own six word memoir.
• Post it to your blog including a visual illustration if you would like.
• Link to the person who tagged you in your post and to this original post if possible so we can track it as it travels across the blogosphere.
• Tag 5 more blogs with links.
• Don’t forget to leave a comment in the tagged blogs with an invitation to play.

It’s a tough thing to write a six-word memoir, seeing as nothing poetic is ever written in sixes. Anyway, here’s my attempt, touching upon the importance of family cohesiveness: (more…)

Warning: The following content features gratuitous self-promotion, meandering bullsh-t, and a whole-hearted attempt to create any semblance of buzz for this, here blog. But I deserved it, so:

On June 8, proving that news is sometimes definitely slow, our post about Cedric Benson’s disappearing life with the Chicago Bears was featured at The Big Lead and made the front page of Yard Barker (exhibit A) – a site I’ve quickly started to love.

Yardbarker also did us a favor, and front-paged our post about the Bears possibly being a suitor of ex-Lion Kevin Jones three days later (exhibit B). At the same time, the Chicago Sun-Times had our post, calling Ricky Manning, Jr. expendable, on their Web site.

Best of all, I graduated from college on June 15. (more…)