Cedric Benson wants a new contract in the worst possible way. And just as contract talks between him and the Bengals seemed looming, he had to go and punch a Texas bar employee in the face, which seems to be just about the worst possible way to prove your worthy. (more…)

The most injured player of the decade is, indeed, a total douche bag. Exhibit A: He is the most injured player of the decade. Exhibit B: He has uber-original tribal band tattoos on both biceps. Exhibit C: He was arrested in an Oklahoma bar last night for getting overly inebriated and then responding to orders to leave the premises by hitting a member of security. So … you’re not leaving, then? (more…)

No one likes to remember that fateful day in November 1986 when Packers defensive tackle Charles Martin (RIP), unnecessarily and late, slammed Bears quarterback Jim McMahon to the hard artificial turf, ending his season and effectively putting quite the damper on any hopes of a repeat championship … But, apparently everyone does want to see the video. (more…)

Sixty-five seconds into today’s 41-21 drubbing courtesy of Arizona, Tommie Harris decided the best way to right his increasingly uncertain situation in Chicago was to punch a man in the face. The defense then proceeded to give up touchdowns on four straight possessions and the rest was awful, cursory history. Sounds like the worst game plan ever! (more…)

If you’re going to step on Brian Urlacher’s shoe, be prepared to be promptly asked to take it outside. However, if you’re surprisingly cordial about the whole thing… and a very talented MMA fighter, be prepared to be unremittingly forgiven. Our friend Zoner Sports has video of Bas Rutten recalling the 2006 incident that almost cost us are middle linebacker.

Rookie tight end Lance Louis is currently under investigation for his role in a fight that took place last November between him and another San Diego State football player. Apparently, his alleged role was that of one who breaks safety Nick Sandford’s eardrum, fractures his cheekbone, and leaves him concussed. (more…)

Leave it to Lovie Smith to compare the incarcerations of Michael Vick and Martha Stewart. More so, he does it with the same easygoing demeanor that makes you wonder if he isn’t really in a coma.

For the record, I’m against Vick ever playing pro football again, let alone, for the Bears. In fact, I might prefer to resort to watching the UFL , or electrocuting my testicles.

NFL’s third-ranked ground attack, meet the NFL’s sixth best against it. Something has to give. Other than the head of Andrew Gurode from the force of Albert Haynesworth’s size 14 cleat.

The Tennessee Titans, the last undefeated team in the NFL, look to keep that record clean tomorrow against the 5-3 NFC North-leading Bears.

Following the old Roman-inspired adage, the Titans, while in Chicago, will do what the Bears will do: run, run, and run some more. After all, would you want to throw it with names like Kerry Collins, Justin Gage, and Rex Grossman leading that charge? (more…)

Depending on whose version of events you believe, Bucs tackle Jeremy Trueblood either acted like a dick, or was grabbed near his during overtime of the Bears 27-24 loss on Sunday.

Trueblood was visibly atop Bears defensive end Adewale Ogunleye, throwing elbows to his head, immediately after a third-down play turned up unsuccessful for the Bucs midway through OT.

The obvious infraction went uncalled, but led to a skirmish that resulted in a shoving match between Charles Tillman and Bucs wide receiver Michael Clayton. Tillman was subsenquently, and unfairly, called for unecessary roughness, giving the Bucs new life and eventually the game. (more…)

The last time that Panthers wide receiver Steve Smith ruined my day year was in the 2006 NFC Divisional Playoff game. It wasn’t just that he was scorching my beloved Bears’ secondary for 212 yards on 12 catches with two touchdowns, it was that he was single-handedly kicking them out of the playoffs.

Luckily, Smith isn’t kicking anything these days. Punching — that’s another story. This Sunday, Smith is sure to be a non factor as he sits out the final game of his two-game suspension for jabbing teammate Ken Lucas in the mug, consenquently breaking his nose.

In his absence, former Bears and two-time Panthers receiver Muhsin Muhammad will once again, be counted on to bully Ken Lucas play the role of veteran leader. Newcomer, tight end Dante Rosario (ed. I get it. Rosario is both his last name and the first name of actress Rosario Dawson HA. HA.) will have to be monitored closely after last week’s impressive performance: seven catches, 96 yards receiving, game-winning touchdown as time expired, and the cause for instantaneous depression of hundreds of thousands of Chargers fans. (more…)