For those new to Blog Down (nah, it’s cool. it’s cool.), Monica Vasher was fond of leaving comments here on stories relating to her son. We’ve even exchanged pleasant e-mails! But now, sadly, all that might be over as the Bears have said goodbye to the undersized corner in lieu of their acquisition of … well, this undersized corner.

In 2004 and 2005, Vasher was quite beastly. Beastly to the point where anyone would have assumed that he and Peanut were going to form an excellent one-two tandem for years to come. Then, at the end of 2006, two things happened: Vasher began to get hurt and get paid.

Some speculate Vasher became less hungry once he received his $28 million extension. I tend not to side with them. I’ve adopted the injuries theory. Riddled with annoying and often lingering injuries the last three seasons, Vasher took to the field with the confidence of Mitch Hedberg.

He seems like a nice enough guy, his mother is great — hopefully, he catches on somewhere else.

Until someone takes the time to create an anti-you fan page on Facebook, you haven’t truly ruined their favorite franchise. The aptly titled, “Tim Ruskell has got to go NOW!!!!!”, does a nice job summing up Seahawks fans’ frustrations and is the perfect source to close out our little three-part research project.

“I am not going to say the Holmgren is the man for this job or if he isnt, but I will say that Ruskell is not!” (Robert Bartholomew)

“Please GO AND GO NOW” (Jamie White Kennison)

And, in response to news Ruskell would resign: “Right the hell on!!!!!!!” (the eloquent, Al Taylor)

I know it’s pretty easy to take shots at the Bills but this is what we do. No one is excluded from being dragged through the mud here:

The Bad: Hey look!……..it’s New York’s only true football team! Unfortunately, they play in a city that is only slightly less shitty than Pittsburgh or Cleveland. Just another one of those towns that has been ravaged by the decline of blue collar work in America. Have you ever seen a Bills home game in December?!? How miserable must it be to go sit and watch a game in that kind of weather??? Then, of course, you have to watch the overwhelmingly average product that is put on the field and it’s enough to make you want to stay home and watch knitting. But then you’d miss passionate crazies like this guy.

Also, that Chris Berman, “Circle the Wagons” bit on NFL Live, or SportsCenter or NFL Bukkake or whatever show he does it on, is so dead. We know you like the Bills and it was cool in 1991, but take your misguided homerism and hide it in your waistband. We’re done with it, thank you (Sidenote: How random is it that Berman is a Bills junkie).

The Worse: Unfortunately for upstate New York, the Bills are also Canada’s football team. Eh? (You could say the same about Detroit except an NFL team has been missing there since 1992). That’s right. Because of owner Ralph Wilson Jr.’s penny-pinching ways, in order to gain much needed revenue, the Bills must go to Toronto for a home game or two. The Bills don’t even play in Buffalo per se. They play in Orchard Park, about 15 miles outside of Buffalo. I find it odd when team’s from a certain city don’t play in said city.

To continue with the management topic, they have made a number of questionable coaching, draft and free agent decisions. The signing of T.O. never made sense to me. It’s clear they weren’t attempting to be anymore competitive; I mean, how could you with Trent Edwards behind center? You’ve got the 2004 first-round draft picks of Lee Evans and J.P. Losman, which isn’t turning any heads. The Dick Jauron signing a few years back was stupefying to me. They hired Al Davis’ nephew!!!! Why would you ever do that?!?!?!

The Rotten Egg, Fart-Smelling Bottom of the Barrel: We would be remiss if we didn’t mention the four straight Super Bowl losses. There was ‘Wide Right’ and then ass-rapings I-III. So the poor gentleman in the linked video above probably cried in front of his TV for a week after the 52-17 shellacking. Or he might have killed himself………yeah, that’s probably it. It’s not to say that going to four Super Bowls is bad, but losing them year after year in worse fashion than before is just terrible. Makes one wonder how this team has any fans left….

/ponders suicide rate in Buffalo between 1991-1994……..sees puppy and forgets

While losing four Super Bowls in a row pretty much is at the top of any shit list; this has to be a close second. To add insult to injury, the Bills haven’t sniffed the post-season since.

This is the hideous thing members of the Green Bay Packers will put over their shoulder pads for select games next season. It’s apparently a throwback jersey from 1929, but all I see is a big circle for Julius Peppers to put his head through.

And like that, we bid you adieu. Don’t get all uptight, Packers fans. We’re supposed to talk endless amounts of shit about you. Our hating spirit toward one and another is how we know we exist.

See you on Monday. Matt will likely still not have written anything by then. Follow us on Twitter.

Most recently, Holt told ESPN Radio in Los Angeles Thursday: “If I come in as a vet, I’m going to challenge those guys for a starting spot, and probably more than likely, beat quite a few of them out for a position to play on that football team.” Um, well, duh.

Yet, Jerry Angelo, obviously not in favor of a Holt-Martz reunion, is confident he’s learned from past mistakes: “Our experience has been, and we learned this a couple years ago when we brought in Brandon Lloyd and Marty Booker, is they are going to take reps. Whose reps are they going  to take? They are going to take younger guys’ reps.”

Ohhhkkkay, Jerry. But your regret has nothing to do with the, I don’t know, skill level of said veterans, right? Because maybe, just maybe, you made two incredibly horrible decisions there, you fucking asshole. How about, next time, not staffing your team with wide receivers that can be topped on the depth chart by Brandon fucking Lloyd and a 32-year old Marty Booker?

I digress. I don’t know, completely, how I feel about Torry Holt. Despite zero touchdowns in 2009, he did accumulate over 700 yards … in Jacksonville, no less. And, that is very close to what Devin Hester and Earl Bennett got. He knows Martz’ system, he wants to play in Chicago very badly, and he would probably sign cheap. Bring him in. See what he can do. Don’t we want the best receivers on the field? If he beats out anyone,  is that his fault? If he underperforms, cut him before the season starts. Oh, and veteran presence, anyone?

Anyone?

Whilst in Palm Beach, Florida on Thursday, Ditka told — *snicker* — attendees of the Palm Beach County Jewish Federation’s ‘Men’s Nite Out’, that he would “absolutely” do it all over again, when asked about his choice to bank their draft on one man. He then added, “of course, that’s why I’m sitting here, talking to you.” So, basically, Ditka is understandably grateful for the incident that spurred the end to his, admitted, “worst three years of my life.” NICE!

For the record, though, it’s more likely that the Saints’ 3-13 record that year was what really brought down the hammer on old Iron Mike. If you want to be specific, the trade wasn’t even all that bad. Sure, the team on the receiving end, the Redskins, got All-Pro’s Champ Bailey and LaVar Arrington out of it and, indirectly, the Broncos reaped tight ends Desmond Clark and Billy Miller. But, the year after Ricky was eventually traded, his replacement, Deuce McCallister, went to the Pro Bowl. And the Saints eventually rebounded to some alright seasons in the Jim Haslett era. Plus, it isn’t like the Redskins were propelled to greatness ala the Cowboys via the Herschel Walker debauchery. Or, the Dolphins, for that matter; Ricky’s first year in Miami was the first time they missed the playoffs after five-straight seasons of postseason appearances.

In less words: YOU GO, MIKE DITKA! Besides ‘Kicking and Screaming’ and, maybe, some other stuff, you have nothing to be sorry for!

It remains mightily unclear what exactly the Chicago Bears plan to do about their free safety problem. And by problem, I of course mean their lack of a good one. There is hope that their free agency splurge isn’t over yet, and that it could still cede Darren Sharper or, more desirably, O.J. Atogwe. Whoever it is, I shudder to think that re-signing Josh Bullocks is their end-all response.

Delaware free safety Charles Graves won’t be drafted in the first three rounds. In fact, he’s just a little known, under-the-radar prospect from a small Division I-AA school. So, yeah, he’s basically like every safety the Bears have drafted since 2001. But supposedly, his stock is on the rise (there wouldn’t be a green up-arrow next to his name here, if it wasn’t!). He’s a playmaker, too. In 42 career games, he has 10 interceptions, including four last year (of which one was summarily returned 90 yards for a touchdown).

When it comes to drafting safeties, Bears fans have seen more gambling than a blackjack dealer. So, why would this make any sense? More or less, because we’re probably going O-line in Round 3, when top safety prospects, like Major Wright and Larry Asante, will be targeted. Other than that, it makes no sense. No sense at all.

Here is Graves, talking about stuff.

Tale Of The Tape

Height: 6-0

Weight: 195 lbs.

40 Time: 4.56

Accolades: 2009 AP FCS Second Team All-American, 2009 Walter Camp FCS All-American, 2009 AFCA FCS All America Team, 2009 Buck Buchanan Award Candidate Finalist, leads school in career interceptions.

Stats: 2009: 69 tackles, 4 INT, 2.5 tackles, 1 sack, 3 PBU, 1 fumble recovery.

Strengths

Consistent, plays best against top competition, natural leader.

Weaknesses

Small-school prospect, smallish frame, raw.

Who Would He Replace

Uh, maybe no one initially. Eventually, on the other hand, take your pick.

Best Intangible Quality

Consistency. Graves led the Blue Hens in, both, tackles and interceptions the last two years.

Likelihood Bears Will Draft Him (0-10)

6

Completely Random Guess Where He’ll Go

Jacksonville Jaguars

Man, I loathe this team nearly as much as the Vikings and Packers….

The Bad: Well, first off, their team name is bullshit. New York??? Ha! Don’t think so. You fuckers play in New Jersey, America’s skidmark. You want to know what’s wrong with America?? Go to New Jersey. It’s a cesspool of filth and these bastards play in it. They recently got a new stadium, which they have to continue to share with their older, better looking brother, the New York Giants, because they couldn’t get their own. They play, like, sixth fiddle in their ‘own’ town and the most famous thing about them is the insufferable ‘J! E! T! S! JETS! JETS! JETS!’ chant. Yes, it’s worse than the Packers ‘Go Pack, Go!’ deal.

This organization has a habit of experimenting with supposedly ‘good’ coaches and watching it tank (see: Pete Carroll, Lou Holtz, Bill Parcells, and Eric Mangini). One also need to look no further than this past season and post-season (which they nearly RUINED for me). Has there ever been a team of such ordinary talent that overachieved so greatly?!?!? For starters, they shouldn’t have been in the playoffs, but you can thank the
Colts pussified ownership and the Bengals for leaving their balls in Cincy for that. FUCK, that made me mad.

Then, they go on and have the audacity to actually WIN two playoff games. AAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And the media was absolutely in LOVE with this team and Rex Ryan. Outside of Revis, there was absolutely NOTHING great about this team. ZERO. A QB that is praised for his ‘poise’ and good decision making???? NO! He was bailed out constantly by an above-average defense, which they had to rely on because the offense sucked balls. Mark Sanchez and all his supposed poise can die in a fire set by Vince Wilfork. He sucks donkey ass and everyone knows it.

The Worse: In 1995 their record was 3-13, which was worse than the Jaguars and the Panthers. This is significant because those two teams were in their first year of existence. If you have a worse record than an expansion team in the first few years of existence, just pack it up and go home. You belong on a high school football field in North Dakota. Then there was the whole Blair Thomas debacle; solid pick there boys. Any organization knows that you don’t take anyone from Penn State remotely close to the top of the draft (I know, I know, Curtis Enis….but also Courtney Brown, Ki-Jana Carter, Kerry Collins etc.). Thomas flamed out rather spectacularly after one decent season and is now teaching Eskimos in Alaska to play football. How nice.

There is also a complex of inferiority that this team possesses. Why? You won Super Bowl III and greatly overachieved this past year, what else have you done? Just because you won ONE Super Bowl, doesn’t give you the right to complain about how sucky or ‘average’ your team is in a given year. It’s almost on the level of a Steelers or Cowboys fan, except those fans are somewhat justified in their thinking. Jets fans, not so much. You give your fans a 2-14 or 3-13 season every few years and then fall ass-backwards into the playoffs every fifth year with a robust 9-7 record. Kudos….there’s the door.

The Rotten Egg Fart Smelling Bottom of the Barrel: Fireman Ed. FUCK. THAT. GUY. Oh, but look at his team spirit! And he’s a fireman! A New York fireman. Oh, get the fuck over it. The guy is a loud, drunk, obnoxious fan who has nothing better in his life to do than to wait for Sunday’s to put on his beloved helmet, mount another grown man and lose his voice. Go away. Their fans are the epitome of class ( see here). So much class, actually, that this organization banned the sale of alcohol during the final regular season game this year and they won’t ever serve booze on Monday night games. See now, this is what you get for catering to Jersey B & T trash.

Their hero is now infamous, NOT for winning Super Bowl III, but, of course, for this. Speaking of that, this franchise sucks so bad that whenever a ‘highlight’ about the Jets comes up, it’s always Broadway Joe wagging that finger. Makes you wonder why there isn’t another??? That was 1969 people, which was over 40 years ago, move on. Also, is there any ’story’ more tired that this one? Oh, Broadway Joe predicts the upset of the century!! Bullshit. The Jets won a boring, non-entertaining Super Bowl that 3% of the rest of America remembers. We Bears fans can flaunt the ‘85 Super Bowl for at least another 10 years thanks to you people.

But seriously, Jets fans………get fucked.