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Blog Down, Chicago Bears

They’re Already Starting To Turn Against Rex In Texas

by Shea Johnson on Thursday 2 July 2009 at 10:30 pm

That didn’t take long, now did it? He hasn’t even fumbled a snap under center, thrown an ill-timed pick six, or impregnated your sister yet, and the Sex Cannon is already being received less-than-positively in Houston. Just wait until Matt Schaub destroys a lateral meniscus.

BallHype: hype it up! Add to RootZoo 116 views Posted under Still Don't Know What To Do With My Grossman Jersey, houston texans

Just Keep Them Away From Your Collarbones, Charles Rogers

by Shea Johnson on Thursday 2 July 2009 at 9:30 pm

Hey, ladies and gentleman! Guess which former collar bone-deficient Detroit Lion’s name is resurfacing? If you said Charles Rogers, take yourself a Vicodin and pat yourself on the back… just not too hard. Collarbone, remember? (more…)

BallHype: hype it up! Add to RootZoo 96 views Posted under Don't Call It A Comeback, bad athletes, charles rogers, injury

Bears Eyeing An ‘Austin-To-Chicago Pipeline’

by Matt Phillip on Thursday 2 July 2009 at 1:45 pm

….or they should. Call me crazy but as recently as a few years back it seemed like every fourth player on the Bears roster was from Oklahoma (Tommie Harris, Marc Bradley, Dusty Dvoracek, J.D. Runnels and now Juaquin Iglesias). Along with those Sooners, the Bears have tapped into perennial SEC doormat Vanderbilt in the past two drafts (Earl Bennett, Chris Williams, D.J. Moore). We’re not including Cutler here because Denver had the privilege of drafting him.
Looking at what the Bears needs will be starting this year, and looking into the very near future, starting a draft pipeline via Texas makes the most sense to me. (more…)

BallHype: hype it up! Add to RootZoo 160 views Posted under Assumptive Blogging, Crazy Talk, I have no authority whatsoever on this subject, draftdraftdraft, matt phillip

Brian Urlacher Field: A Field Named After Brian Urlacher

by Shea Johnson on Wednesday 1 July 2009 at 10:45 am

The University of New Mexico has named their football practice facility after the legendary former Lobo Brian Urlacher, shown here just pre-STD. The decision to appropriately christen Brian Urlacher Field was spurred by “Urlacher’s accomplishments and a recent $500,000 gift to the school.”

Presumably, Urlacher outbid fellow alum Neil Patrick Harris, who could only come up with $500, for naming rights.

BallHype: hype it up! Add to RootZoo 106 views Posted under Dangers of Pro Football, STD, Stadiums, brian urlacher, charity

Roberto Garza Hosts Youth Football Camp With All The Flair Of A PR Pro

by Shea Johnson on Tuesday 30 June 2009 at 3:00 pm

Roberto Garza is hosting a series of free youth football camps in the Rio Grande Valley; his place of origination and arguably where he first cogitated the idea of driving a large amount of elderly to receive healthcare in just one seven-passenger van.

Garza speaks about the kids, of whom he was once one: “All they have to do is believe in themselves, dream big and they can accomplish anything.”

But, don’t forget your fucking vitamins, kids. Or Uncle Roberto will kill you.

BallHype: hype it up! Add to RootZoo 109 views Posted under I'm Sure He's A Nice Guy, Roberto Garza, Slow News Day, charity

An Open Letter To Tommie Harris

by Matt Phillip on Friday 26 June 2009 at 5:00 pm

The last post of the week: something to ponder as you await the certain couch slouch and booze binge of this weekend.

Dear Mr. 91,

This city would absolutely go bonkers if were you to return to your form pre-second half of the 2006 season. It would really make everything easier on all of us Bears fanatics. We aren’t asking for much here, just a season of seeing 91 in navy and orange in the offensive backfield. Heck, you can even keep the sacks to a minimum. In fact please do, we don’t seem to perform well when you’re making the opposing gunslingers eat grass. (more…)

BallHype: hype it up! Add to RootZoo 158 views Posted under Friday Night Final, matt phillip, tommie harris

The Bears Secondary Wants You!

by Matt Phillip on Thursday 25 June 2009 at 7:00 pm

Well not really, but it would appear that they should just start holding tryouts in the Chicago area. I mean I ‘played’ safety freshman year of high school, why not give me a shot? With the ‘talent’ we are currently throwing out there we might as well start handing out tryout flyers. (more…)

BallHype: hype it up! Add to RootZoo 257 views Posted under Assumptive Blogging, bad athletes, corey graham

Brett Favre Has Twitter, Or So It Would Seem

by Matt Phillip on Wednesday 24 June 2009 at 6:30 pm

Hey all, I’ll be taking over for Shea for a few days while he ends his life by having his girlfriend move in with him, goes to sunny CA to visit his home boys and girls.

The offseason is brutal enough for us Bears fans. We have to suffer through the “Wait ‘til next year” refrain from Cubs fans, and the perpetual ineptitude of the Bulls. (Yes the Blackhawks were good this year but now that their season is done, I’m sure that 0.5% of the city cares) As if that wasn’t enough, for the past three off-seasons we’ve had to deal with the fucking Brett Favre saga. (more…)

BallHype: hype it up! Add to RootZoo 260 views Posted under Don't Call It A Comeback, End of an Era (Or Not), I'm Sure He's A Nice Guy, Media, Waste of Space, bad athletes, brett favre, matt phillip, nfc north, offseason, peter king

The End Of The Devin Hester That Made You Spill Your Beer

by Shea Johnson on Tuesday 23 June 2009 at 8:30 pm

He is already the greatest kick/punt returner to ever play the game, but the one thing that is most disappointing about the Devin Hester saga is that thanks to a franchise incapable of finding a true number one wide receiver, us fans will forever be jipped of more moments like this (Warning: loud). (more…)

BallHype: hype it up! Add to RootZoo 353 views Posted under End of an Era (Or Not), devin hester, youtube

Cutler On B-Marsh: “I Think He Can Be One Of The Greatest Ever To Play”

by Shea Johnson on Tuesday 23 June 2009 at 8:00 am

Brandon Marshall. Jay Cutler. Trade. Pat Bowlen. Will The Bears Sign A Wide Receiver? Okay, now that we’re fully SEO optimized: Jay Cutler obviously likes what Brandon Marshall is bringing to the table, but his ambitious compliment to the absurdly off-center wide receiver might be a little much. (more…)

BallHype: hype it up! Add to RootZoo 232 views Posted under Crazy Talk, Jay Cutler, brandon marshall, charity

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